It was "Smiles", not "Tears" that kept me going.
I left my beloved homeland for a faraway place, leaving back the burden of the past behind, picking up the new tasks and responsibilities of the future. Sorrow there was, despair there was, false-hope there was; It was never easy to leave a place and the people that you had so much feeling for it.
Was it a plain illusion? Was it a rebound effect? Was it a unjustified expectation? I do not want to answer. I do want to keep repeat, repeat and repeat the same pretension, same reason, same excuse; which in the end only lead me to one thing, "tears". I just want to do two things now, "Focus" and "Smile".
Last few posts talked about resolving regrets. Now, most of the regrets have been solved, if there is anything left, that "one" is better left to its own. I want to move on. I came to Canberra with a reason, I came here to solve a biggest question of my life, I came here to prove a point. Cliche it may sound, but it was the reason I put away my list of "loves" and "hates" behind in Malaysia.
Luke Skywalker detonated the Death Star with some "tricks" and talents in A New Hope. Detonating the whole Death Star was considered quite a considerable feat I would say, but to stagnate and rejoice at that point will soon bring us to another 2 episodes in Star Wars. Nowhere near the status of a Jedi Master, Luke was guided by Obiwan Kenobi's spirit to Dagobah, the land of swarms(A terrifying place where Luke's X-wing sunk into the bottom of the swarm) to seek Master Yoda. It is in Dagobah that he learned the true meaning of being a warrior, and was later able to overcome his own fear and hatred to defeat Darth Vader and Emperor. Was going to Dagobah necessary? Yes.
Well, Canberra isn't some Dagobah, it isn't Coruscant either. I would compare Taiping and Canberra. First impressions about the place is good that I felt like I am back home. Quiet, serene, lush with greenery, it is the place that I would call home. Laying on the bed in my room was like laying on my favourite bed back in Taiping. You notice that time passes slowly and all the childhood memories start popping into your mind. You can forget the terrible jam in Federal Highway, you can forget the dirty filthy crowded SS15, you can forget the obnoxious residents and guests alike who park their car inconsiderately in Bangsar.
And all that, for 3 years at least. Yes, leave behind all the regrets for now please. Leave them all behind, leave them all behind, leave them absolutely behind. Being whiny stops nothing. When it is a "X", it's a "X";When it is an "O", it will always be an "O". When it isn't yours, it isn't. But when it is, it will be in your hands eventually. My crush on Ivies, my devotions, my affections may have caused a tingling bitter sensation in my heart for now. But, just remember that, it's all over now, I am in a whole new game now. The past is the past.
Will the real Sephyrave please stand up?
I left my beloved homeland for a faraway place, leaving back the burden of the past behind, picking up the new tasks and responsibilities of the future. Sorrow there was, despair there was, false-hope there was; It was never easy to leave a place and the people that you had so much feeling for it.
Was it a plain illusion? Was it a rebound effect? Was it a unjustified expectation? I do not want to answer. I do want to keep repeat, repeat and repeat the same pretension, same reason, same excuse; which in the end only lead me to one thing, "tears". I just want to do two things now, "Focus" and "Smile".
Last few posts talked about resolving regrets. Now, most of the regrets have been solved, if there is anything left, that "one" is better left to its own. I want to move on. I came to Canberra with a reason, I came here to solve a biggest question of my life, I came here to prove a point. Cliche it may sound, but it was the reason I put away my list of "loves" and "hates" behind in Malaysia.
Luke Skywalker detonated the Death Star with some "tricks" and talents in A New Hope. Detonating the whole Death Star was considered quite a considerable feat I would say, but to stagnate and rejoice at that point will soon bring us to another 2 episodes in Star Wars. Nowhere near the status of a Jedi Master, Luke was guided by Obiwan Kenobi's spirit to Dagobah, the land of swarms(A terrifying place where Luke's X-wing sunk into the bottom of the swarm) to seek Master Yoda. It is in Dagobah that he learned the true meaning of being a warrior, and was later able to overcome his own fear and hatred to defeat Darth Vader and Emperor. Was going to Dagobah necessary? Yes.
Well, Canberra isn't some Dagobah, it isn't Coruscant either. I would compare Taiping and Canberra. First impressions about the place is good that I felt like I am back home. Quiet, serene, lush with greenery, it is the place that I would call home. Laying on the bed in my room was like laying on my favourite bed back in Taiping. You notice that time passes slowly and all the childhood memories start popping into your mind. You can forget the terrible jam in Federal Highway, you can forget the dirty filthy crowded SS15, you can forget the obnoxious residents and guests alike who park their car inconsiderately in Bangsar.
And all that, for 3 years at least. Yes, leave behind all the regrets for now please. Leave them all behind, leave them all behind, leave them absolutely behind. Being whiny stops nothing. When it is a "X", it's a "X";When it is an "O", it will always be an "O". When it isn't yours, it isn't. But when it is, it will be in your hands eventually. My crush on Ivies, my devotions, my affections may have caused a tingling bitter sensation in my heart for now. But, just remember that, it's all over now, I am in a whole new game now. The past is the past.
Will the real Sephyrave please stand up?
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