Election Lost, Friends Won

I guess I must be crazy when I decided to tell Chua that I am running for Treasurer, even when people have been telling me the "potential hurdle" I have to overcome.

I am no stranger to politics, and I know my chances(can even calculate it). Winning an election is not whether you are the best in certain things and so you can win it. I have studied American History, and knowing about the every presidential elections certainly taught me a thing or two about politics.

But difficulty of something shouldn't be an hindrance of one pursuing it. I know who my opposition is, I know how she looks like, I know the huge advantage she holds. But when you run on the basis of seeking the adrenaline and making more friends, those shouldn't be a concern at all. And so, I became the sole opposition, being a first semester student holding up against the huge force.

What I had in mind was just to do the best I can, while indulging in the fun of the whole process. Come election day, I felt that I had no regrets. I am greatly touched by the support of my friends, who all wasted their precious time to go to the 4-hour AGM to support me. Even though their numbers was quite close to the red-shirt party, I lost in the end. I had done my best to close in the gap between me and my opposition, it just wasn't that enough. But to think that friends that barely know you for 2 months coming and support you, and their gesture of all of them leaving the hall soon after my loss, and them sms-ing me expressing dissappointment over my loss; I felt that I had done enough and gave it my all. I am grateful to my friends.

And so Ellen Chua beat Raymond Tan, that's the result that cannot be changed. I thank everyone for their support in the election and I will come back stronger again. I also want to thank Chua, Adrian and the rest for their equivocal support and faith in me everytime. If there is anything that I lost from this election, I can say there's nothing. What I have gained? True friendship. Was it worthwhile? YES. I enjoyed it.

Week 7 & 8

I was busy during week 7 and 8 with mid-terms, studies and MSO election campaigning.

Hence this post is a post combining the two weeks of things.

• Had my Micro mid terms. The results in the end turned out to be so much better than I expected
• Had my Macro mid terms.
• Decided firmly that I will run for Treasurer for the upcoming MSO elections with Chua, despite knowing what I am up against.
• Rained quite a lot
• I was kinda sick with debating after 3 days of continuous debating
• No public lectures attended as more time shifted to studies.
• Gym expired. Haven't go renew it yet. Hence forced to do push-ups/pumping in the room.
  

These two weeks wasn't that eventful.
Campaigning probably was one of the most thrilling experience I have had.

Spring Tournament

The Spring Tournament was held from 4-6 September 2009. I was simply drained after 5 rounds of debating, nevertheless the occasion really was a good opportunity to learn.

Sufficient to say the venue isn't a occasion for one to feel good. Results-wise I would say it was terrible. 2 "3rd-place" and 3 "4th-place", accumulating only 2 out of possible 15 points pretty much summed up the performance. I had some flashes of good debating that probably would have significantly improved the results. But the flashes were either too inconsistent, too short, or not suitable to the role I should be playing. In other words, I simply wasn't good enough for any sort of significant challenge, just fighting for scraps maybe.

Probably it did improve when the matches progressed from first round till the fifth round. To be honest, I thought I had a decent chance of winning the last round, but somehow I got 4th, last place. Well, no point in arguing about the adjudication. I felt like the last round was another lesson, the issue of subjectivity is always there, just like what my seniors have said. You just have to get used to it, because likewise in a football match, no point arguing with the referee over decisions. You look immature and foolish by arguing more. (Like Drogba and Ballack's action in Chelsea vs Barcelona) And if I had been better, I wouldn't have to wait till the last round to score some wins, I would have done that in the past 4 rounds.

Disappointing it may seem, overall the tournament has been an enjoyable one. It was a nice occasion debating with others from the other universities. And I think I learned a lot and nothing beats the feeling of actually knowing what you have learnt and applied, worked in your favour in the debate. My first round debate, I believe is my best performance throughout the tournament. The same goes with 3rd round. My 2nd and 4th was real bad. And my fifth one supposingly I thought it was good, but it was so harsh to get a 4th place in that one. Whatever it is, I have definitely learned much and get hold of some of the skills and techniques in BP style debating. I now have the direction on what areas I can work on.

I think my results currently are just temporary. I have not even done BP style debating more than 10 times after this tournament, so I think I should look positively now and have the right mentality. To let me think of 1 F1 driver as inspiration, I can't help to think about Felipe Massa.

When Felipe Massa first debuted in F1 in 2002, he was ingloriously crowned the "Master of Disaster", beaten only by Alex Yoong and Takuma Sato. So basically back in 2002, he was...almost that standard. Then in 2003, he got fired and took a test drive role for Ferrari. Back to Sauber in 2004-2005, he sufficiently improved his results. True enough, there is improvements, but there is no where to suggest that he is better than any drivers out there like Alonso, Raikkonen and that big-mouth Montoya. In fact, I have to say the three were much more talented than Massa.

He was fortunate to be driving the 2nd Ferrari in 2006. But this is when he started to improve. As Luca Badoer or even Giancarlo Fisichella can attest, stepping into a Ferrari without the necessary skills isn't going to win you any podiums or races. What Massa did was to serve as an understudy to Micheal Schumacher and you can see the obvious improvements. From "Master of Disaster" , he was able to win races with the Ferrari in his debut.

If anyone has serious doubts on Massa's ability, they will be silenced by his performance in 2008. He had his embarassing moments(Spun out in Malaysia, spun 5 times in Silverstone), but Hamilton had it too. Had Massa's engine didn't blow in Hungary, had he didn't get released early with his fuel hose in Singapore, he would have been World Champion. I think his final race in Brazil was truly a tragic and saddening one. (Hamilton deserved the title BTW, his defining moment was Shanghai where he simply blew the two Ferraris off) But after stepping on the podium and losing to Hamilton by only 1 point, I guess he really deserved to be considered the true title contender, not the "Master of Disaster".(Not that big mouth Montoya). He has proven himself, and results-wise, he has proven himself too. He won more Grand Prix in his 3 years than Barrichello did in 6 years. He didn't get whipped by Michael Schumacher as a teammate(Unlike some people who claim their teammates caused their underperformance), he learned humbly and he benefited greatly.

So, I think I should definitely draw inspiration from this guy. A correct mentality is needed and I am still up and running with this mentality. Hope for the best.

Briefing

Tonight I discussed with my teammate for the ANU Spring debating tournament.

I think with any sort of team any sort of activity, a game plan must be drawn. That was just what we did. Certainly I believe in my team's potential in the tournament. If the potential is fulfilled, then it can massively boost our team's competitiveness and achieve a targeted "2nd place" and 4 "3rd places" in the 5-round tournament. So that means 2+1+1+1+1=6 points out of a possible 12.

Reasonable target I would say, considering both have experience already in debating and public speaking. The main problem is that my teammate needs to translate his great public speaking skills into the skills of debating. (He was the sole representative for our College of Business and Economics in the Lions Oratory Competition and won numerous awards preceding that) Whereas I myself need to think more structurally and critically instead of depending 60% on my teammate to feed me points. And also, I will need to rediscover my aggressive style of attack in debating especially in rebuttals, which has been hugely absent. Not that I don't want, it's just that when you can't see a weakness to attack, you grow desperate and start to go blank. But no more, I will keep a clear head this time.

So probably tomorrow we will sit down again and hammer out the important things. Tonight is just the beginning for a long weekend this week.

Week 6

Week 6 has passed.

Summary: "Busy"

A Summary In Terms of Academics:
• Mid terms next week for Microeconomics. What can I say about the mixed feelings for this subject. On the other hand, you hope that you can score good grades with easy passes, but learn nothing. On the other hand, you hope to learn more and understand more, but this risks your results. But history has proven that, the latter choice will be better in terms of long-term development.
• Macroeconomics still carries on. It now slowly falls behind Microeconomics in terms of satisfaction. Mid terms next week.
• Statistics, moves on as well. No tests for statistics except for finals. So can be relieved for now. Only assignments.
• Econometrics goes on. Nothing exciting. Re-learning calculus 1 stuff again.
• Workload is still okay.
• Motivation is high, but with mid terms next week, it's never going to be days of joy for this week.

A Summary In Terms of Life.
• BP debate 4th round debate. Will need massive improvements for ANU Spring
• Still has momentum in working out.
• Public Lecture on Australia and Argentina

What's next?
• More Study!
• Gear up for ANU Spring
• Improve my English! (To prepare for some fireworks and kaboom! )
• Work out continues

Irony

Just when the last post talk about regret,
today I read about the news of a Stanford PhD student now driving a cab to earn a living in Singapore.
Apparently he could not land a job for long with that PhD.

8

"Laws without morals are useless"

Sufficient to say that, I am not done yet with that regret.
Something that only someone will know.
That no matter what, I vow to be back.
and walk through the Upper Quad Gate with honor.

Looking at the names,
Browsing through Facebook walls,
Reading the blogs,
Seeing your photos,
Facing a person who is from WH everyday,
reminded of the things what might have been.

They revoke the pain,
that motivate oneself to really remember the pain and
go on and fight to prove the point.

While early July proved the end of a list of big "regrets",
from there emerges a new one,
that is not easy to solve.

"We were humbled by your achievements......."

X years later, you will truly be humbled, not on paper.

Human Capital

Yesterday I attended an interesting public lecture entitled "Australia & Argentina: Were They Really on Parallel Paths?" hosted by Dr. James Levy from University of New South Wales. This public lecture mainly explained about the reasons Australia achieved substantially higher living standards than Argentina even though both nations are commodity-export oriented and rapidly growing world economies at the end of the 19th century.

It is important to note that this lecture isn't about the superiority of Australia, nor was it about an East Vs West or Developed country vs Developing country. To understand the situation we need to throw away such short-sighted notions so that we can derive the lesson from it.

From what I understand, the main points presented yesterday were

1. Investment of Human Capital
Australia consistently invested more than Argentina in the development of human capital including education, health, housing, social security and welfare. These were areas of heavy investment by the state in Australia whereas Argentines opted to strictly limit state activity in these areas with the possible exception of education. That is, the Argentines reformed their university education system but in other areas, corruption and reluctance to reform has been prevalent. The reluctance in reform is partly due to the different style of colonial history that the nations had. Argentina had a feudalism sort of political situation(large land ownership by aristocrats) whereas Australia had most of their lands controlled by the British Crown. Subsequently, Australia would retain the Westminister system that made it much more easier to reform than the Argentinian psuedo-feudalism. When Argentines are seriously into reform in the middle 20th century, they find themselves lack the necessary capability and ended up stretching themselves too much, worsening their decline.

2. Role of Government's Fiscal Policy
Research clearly indicates that from the 1890s when adequate data is available, Australia collected greater government revenues with which to build human capital and consequently enjoyed higher living standards. By 1907, Australia has built a stable and progressive income tax system that greatly increased the spending power of the Australian government. Of course Argentines collected tax through tariffs of imports, but too often corruption sliced off the share of the revenue.

3. Role of War Mobilization
Australia's participation in World War I and World War II propelled their economy greatly as the nation geared itself towards industrialization. It was important as it united the various colonies in Australia and created a stronger national identity. Also, as government spending increases, GDP of Australia increased as well. The true cannot be said for Argentina as they stayed neutral throughout the two wars, they largely did not benefit from the mobilization.

I feel it important to reflect on the case of these two nations. The study ends in the 1960s when the gap between the two countries widens to the extent that a comparison becomes less meaningful. Australia would far ahead of Argentina by then. From my own perspective is that, even if a nation has abundant resources, it doesn't guarantee the well-being of its citizens. The Argentinian case probably signifies how one nation can plunge from great heights towards mediocrity if no good policy is made.

How good policies are made?

This returns to the importance of human capital investment. That developing human capital is one of the most effective ways to raise a country's living standard holds true in this respect. To make good policies we need conscientious people, and these conscientious people we need to train them and develop them before we can have any good policies. As evident in Argentina, bad policies can affect generations and generations and it is not unfair to say that Argentina did not actually recover to its glorious days. In terms of Australia, it is no wonder that the people of Australia enjoy significantly high living standards for they have such a efficient system of human capital development. Their good management of healthcare, education, social welfare, housing meant that they can produce highly productive human capital that will maintain if not increase the productivity of the whole nation.

Dr. Pedro introduced this Solow Model in his sometimes crazily difficult tutorials. Even though it is not examinable, I feel that somehow it's quite true. The maths equation proved that productivity of a nation heavily relies on human capital. So if we have invest well in human capital (ie.healthcare, education, social welfare, housing system), we can ensure that the nation sustain the growth. And then I recalled one point in Mr Vincent Chin's public lecture is that, why Malaysia has been still okay compared to our neighbors. To be objective, I am not interested in bashing Malaysian education system here or glorify foreign education system, but Mr Vincent did say that somehow Malaysians are still relatively competitive because of our relatively stable education system. I think I agree with his idea. The point is, if you develop your human capital, you will somehow grow, just a matter of whether it's small or big.

I think this topic is very interesting because it relates to myself and the thing I am studying. Just compare the living standards, what are the usual cell phones among teenagers in a Malaysian university campus, and what are the usual cell phones among students in an Australian university campus. To observe this is simple, the phenomenon is, (at least in my case) you have an "iPhone army" here, you also have a "Nokia E63 or E71" army here. Whereas, I think I am accurate enough to predict that there is few in a Malaysian university campus who has such phones. This might be an absurd comparison, but it is enough to illustrate the difference in living standards. In the case of a normal person(not from an affluent family), work 2 hours here per week and one can afford an iPhone here every month, try work the same hours in Malaysia and see whether one can subscribe to the Maxis iPhone package.

While people might be saying it is unfair to compare the big gap between developing and developed countries, the fact is that it is not impossible at all to narrow the gap as shown by history. Here I just want to point out my few points,

1. If one in Malaysia wants to buy an Iphone, he or she is better off contributing to the country rather than migrating overseas so that his next few generations can buy a few times more Iphones.
2. The only way to raise the living standard of the population(i.e. one's families, friends, relatives) is for people to come back and contribute to their own country, unless the whole population can migrate to other countries.(1. Had Tony Fernandez acquired AirAsia and relocate it to Thailand, when can we start getting our budget airline at such an affordable price? 2. Had Tony Fernandez works for Ryanair and earning Euros, he might be better off, but when can we start having our own AirAsia?(It is already failing before he took over) Probably we will, but it won't be so soon)

So, as a position of a scholar, these certainly let me rethink of a lot of common conceptions. That if one seriously want to make a sustainable difference, for one's own family and friends, one should not have the notion that "I wanna get out of this country as soon as possible". Probably gaining experience working overseas or accumulating capital from overseas is fine. To go all-out without returning probably is good for oneself for now, but in the long run, the benefits might just be not long lasting. As I said, as a scholar I am paid with the hopes of developing myself as a human capital, not that anyone owed me this scholarship. So I should really be grateful and maximize my opportunities of studies here in Australia.

Before Spring

Round 4 debating.

This round didn't have the magnitude of improvements like last week did. But of course there are certain areas that were much better, but the issues that I need to address remains unsolved.

To say it like this, if I clear this hurdle, I will be on to another level. If I don't clear this big hurdle, the improvements will be limited. The hurdle is that I have is to upgrade my speech and argument structure. Thematic rebuttal was used this time, however the skill is still at its infancy stage. The positives are that I got the direction to work on.

The problems left me with an uneasy feeling even after my speech. Today the themes were identified quite well(Thanks to mental practice of doing summary to every Economist article I read, every chapter of textbook I read), but extra developments are needed. Argument development were improved this time, but of course, now what I can do is only "generating topic sentences with scarce elaborations". This is good enough, for this stage I believe, I just need to coordinate my thinking to generate elaborations. Also, I will need to read more to develop a more sophisticated argument. Evidence-wise, much more concrete substance than my previous speeches, but of course they were very messy to the point that I even confuse myself what I was trying to talk about(hence the uneasy feeling).

Today I felt that my teammate and I could aim for a second place, but too bad our problems were still apparent which gave us a 3rd position out of 4. My teammate develops better argument and more solid evidence than me, has more experience and has more structure, but today somehow his rebuttals were always too long and today he left out a big important part of the speech. I am aggressive in attacks and smoother in speeches and though today one of my points got us off the line, but substance-wise and structure-wise still has to learn from him.

This week will be the last week we are going to train before the ANU Spring tournament. So it will be break for both of us. I am treating the tournament as a learning process. (Asking me to be competitive only after 4 times of BP debating is just too much and unrealistic) Whether I will be more spectator than competitor doesn't matter. In fact I don't care if I spectate most of the time with World Champion University of Sydney also sending teams here. And the Grand Finals will be held in the Parliament House of Australia, so just imagine the scale of the tournament. Regardless, 5 rounds of debating are guaranteed. With my current level, I expect to be around 2nd or 3rd place in a 4 team debate in one round. As long as we can averagely maintain that position I will be happy. Of course, I do hope to fight for a win in one of the 5 rounds, but I will see how it goes.

Push

One might be wondering why a first year student pushes so hard when the subjects are so apparently "comparatively easy".

I believe, for everything to fall into one piece, that is so important that I cannot lift an inch off the pedal.

Perhaps to an outsider's eye, pushing so hard at this point is ludicrous and over-reacting. But, frankly, in January I could do the same too. Just relax a bit and simply get a Dean's list and fly to UNL, isn't that so easy? Probably one could say at that point I virtually have nothing to prove, basically just waiting for time to pass and go on to another semester. However, I did the opposite and well, some nice things happened later that was so sweet that probably can be savored best by no one but myself.

I can just enjoy my life now, but that isn't what I am about to do. To be honest, ivy league interviews were not simply interviews, they were inspirational. My crush towards ivies led me to research about ivies, and from there I came to know the numerous successes of the people who graduated from there. Each of them have their own model of success essentially. Then of course from the numerous scholarship interviews, I learned about the road taken by CEOs. Dr. Finian Tan, who has probably one of the most impressive CVs I have read, also a Shell Scholar n years back, always is in my mind and I just cannot shake it off.

For every general to win, they have to understand themselves and their rivals. I know where my abilities lie and I can loudly say that the gap in terms of raw power and skill with these people at the same point of their lives is still a big gap. To be realistic, just like in debating, I can only compensate the deficiency by extra hard work from now. Well, call me unconfident and kiasu, but I believe there has to be a certain standard for oneself to reach. I cannot be content on scoring good grades now, but certainly scoring good grades is always on top of the agenda. Like a F1 car, you cannot win a race with a bad engine, but you cannot win a race with just a good engine alone.

Yes, I love racing. I am not racing against anyone here. (It will only create misery for myself racing against others here) I am purely racing to reduce the "gap", which basically is racing against myself. Like a F1 driver testing his car around the track and tries to set the fastest time. So no worries about crashing or bumping into others.

And so, in terms of "academic fitness", I am certainly in top shape now. Well, doesn't mean I will get 100% or a definite HD by being in top shape, but one thing's for sure is that I will fight on with the ultra-motivation and hope for the best.

Week 5

Week 5 has passed.

Summary: "Ultra-motivation"

A Summary In Terms of Academics:
• Microeconomics is slowing down. As it is going into a familiar territory now, I just need to keep on this good form in this course. I had a good start, so focus will be on adding on things I don't know previously and improving my understanding on previously known things. Momentum needs to carry on throughout the whole 14 weeks!
• Shame that I have to miss Macroeconomics tutorial this week due to some clashes. But I attended the "help desk" which was not bad at all. As the timing was right, it felt like "2 on 1 tuition" on the tutorial questions I didn't understand. This help desk certainly exposes about the depth the whole Economics subject can get into. Most importantly, "help desks" helped me solved problems I thought was so difficult.
• Statistics still cruising with fine form I would say. Keep the momentum going I think I should be fine.
• Econometrics gives me the feeling that it is....dangerous. It's not hard, not difficult. In fact sometimes it's very easy, which gives me an uneasy feeling. I need to be more wary.
• Basically the workload is okay right until this point, probably the subjects are not too difficult, or probably I have to credit it to the rigorous timetable and workload I had in AUP.
• Motivation is the highest for this week.

A Summary In Terms of Life.
• BP debate third round debate. Slightly more competitive. Need more upgrades to prepare for ANU Spring.
• Bicycle rides like a Ferrari-equivalent of a bike.
• Two football trainings in a week. Needless to say, also needs vast improvement.
• Still has momentum in working out.
• Still no public lectures this week due to scheduling problems.
• Provisional plan for the itinerary and all sorts of logistics for Paris trip.


What's next?
• More Study!
• Improve my English! (It's time to step up one gear to cope with the high demands)
• Keep the motivation going on.
• One interesting public lecture next week on Australia and Argentina (It shocks me to know that Argentina was one of the richest nations in the world 100 years ago, and the issue of their decline will be detailed in this lecture)

For everything to fall into one piece, everything must be perfect from this point onwards.

A Cause For Optimism

So entering week 3 of debates, this time I would say, finally there's a cause for optimism.

Inarguably I displayed one of my better performances since I came here. By no means it was top quality, but there was a noticable improvement and a big cause for optimism. This time the teams composed of 1 ANU representatives, 2 veteran groups and my group. So the contest was much harder now and it was not clear which one is the weakest. Though still placed 4th out of 4th, this time I was able to slowly improve on the flaws on my own debating skills. More structured, better arguments and more steady, though there are still much to make up with, but definitely with consistent training I believe it can be done.

So today the problem was our standpoint sort of killed the other faction in opposition, known as "kniving". Though 4 teams are generally independent and competing with each other, but you should beat and help your other opposition faction as well. So what happens was, as the closing opposition you have to be careful not to do friendly fire, while distinguish yourself well enough to be on top of them. Probably we were too overzealous in setting the arguments and ended up with a "penalty".

But of course the understanding between me and my teammate has been enhanced, and I would say right until the ANU Spring we should be slightly more competitive as the understanding grows. I think this is the first time that I outscored my teammate individually, where I was placed 3rd behind the 2 ANU representatives and out of the 8 debaters. But in debating, the team counts a lot and I think we need to sit down and discuss more about the arguments to make sure no blunders occur again. Last week our argument either knived ourselves or it was not even causing a scratch, this week we knived others.

Of course, in the end my adjudicator also guided me on the areas to improve, and how can I do that. I would say he is so good as a adjudicator that I can find a lot of opportunities to improve. So "Thematic rebuttal" technique was introduced, basically, identify the main issues for every debate and counter them. Looks easy? Wait till you are thrown to the real deal. Generally from my experience, general Malaysian debaters present their points very orderly. Opening statement, elaboration, closing. So issues are quite easy to identify and counter. The problem here is, the people here don't do it that way. They do it in such a way that it is implicit for me, explicit enough for the adjudicators. So, it's like, listening to a SAT Comprehension article and do the summary. A lot of brainpower is needed. If solving SAT comprehension is difficult, this is 3X more difficult, as....you need to summarize, turn into argument, support with evidence...in a matter of minutes.

No wonder people back in ancient Greece and Rome emphasize so much on debating. Seriously, the skills involved in debating, are like the skills involved in academics. I think they complement each other really well and might even have a positive relationship. Just by practising "Thematic Rebuttal" in lectures is enough to maximize the learning opportunities during lectures.

The Fallen Has Risen

"......Kang Yao surely is on steroids today, charging today down the flanks in Sunway Sports Planet court 1 with the intense ferocity that no one have seen before. (Considering that was one of the last few games Taylor's PE8+me were playing). Gerald intercepts him and passes to Joe who quickly made a quick turn to pass Arwin, before a charging Tianji ended his hopes of putting a good shot. When Tianji gets the ball, it's usually hard to dispossess him. But today seemed like not his day. Raymond, unusually was deep down the right flank to do defending, something he is bad at. But today seemed the reverse, he fired blanks and was out of sorts in all the front positions but was unusually effective at the back, dropping back to stop Tianji numerous occassions.

This time however, he is not so lucky. It seemed like a normal block by Raymond and Tianji got away this time from the marking of Raymond. But someone who wore the distinctive blue number 11 Drogba jersey was lying on the ground with the agony and tears. This time he sure didn't overreact or dive."

And yes, after that, I was sidelined 3 months for an ankle sprain. I thought I will not kick a ball again.

It's unusual when you have a passion for something. You just cannot shake it off. You just want to keep doing it. You just keep loving it. I probably am out of my mind when I for sure talk about football in ALL of my interviews, even though I achieved so little compared to the others. On CV, my football has nothing big to brag about, yet why it always find a place in interviews? Common knowledge is that we should bring out something more substantial and glorious to talk about. But, I believe the my passion, my view on football, my love towards the game portrays 40%-50% of myself. And that, if I am ever going to talk about my hobbies, my interest, myself, I will do the best by displaying my true self, instead of saying something else like collecting stamps or fishing.
Nothing wrong saying those as hobbies, but it just wouldn't be me anymore.

I once thought I am not going to have the chance to play football after I leave high school. (Which proved to be the case for many of my friends). To find a team to play sometimes depend on luck, to find a team that you find comfortable with is tough, to enjoy playing with a bunch of people is difficult too. I was lucky, in high school, I have got this "TP Real Madrid", in college, I have "Taylors PE8", what about ANU?

I thought after I last visited Sunway Sports Planet, that will be my last time touching the ball. Coming to ANU, you wonder whether you will be accepted as a player, with injury an added concern. But well, there's something I love about football, is that it dissolves differences in everything, race, religion, ideology etc. I didn't cheat when I wrote my Ivy League essays, that essentially football unites people, and that's why I love it. In Malaysia, you don't discern between races, social strata, religion. You can actually join a game as a stranger or accept a stranger into your game and play together. That was what happened today.

I have been playing leisurely with John XXIII college people, and the few times of leisure football was fun. It was my first few times playing with people from different nationalities. Asians, Americans, Europeans, Middle East, Australians etc....with European's sublime skills always so awe-inspiring. In those games I still maintained my......goal-poaching skills, scoring a couple of goals, but is nowhere in top shape.

Today is the breakthrough in terms of serious football. Bruce Hall team training, which I decided to attend to improve fitness as going to gym isn't the same as real sports. Did all the drills, and had a small friendly game. I enjoyed the game thoroughly. Even though I missed 5 weeks of training, and despite the fact that I was the only first year first sem student there, there was no real difficulty in adapting. Simply, let the game do the talking. The players were diverse culturally. I am quite satisfied with my physical condition, though it needs more improvement. And lucky strike goal poaching still helps me to score 1 "plain, unbeautiful" goal.

Actually, I might have the chance to represent Bruce Hall in the Interhall Competition, as soon as this Friday, as Bruce Hall is facing a slight player shortage problem. But, from yesterday's performance, I know where my fitness levels are. So this semester I will just train.

By the way, playing in the cold, 6-7 C is a thrilling experience. With the floodlights illuminating Willows Oval at night(though it's technically evening), it was the first time I played in such an atmosphere. And my new adidas predator blue absolado is doing a good job. It felt almost similar to my red predator absolado futsal, but definitely a greater feeling compared to my old umbro x-400.So, the fallen has risen again. LOL, and I want to say to Kang Yao, if he is reading this. My "足球梦" has continued until today.

Sometimes

Sometimes "what-if's " can make a boring and repetitive repertoire.

Sometimes "what have been" can make yourself look stupid.

Sometimes, "what will be" can make yourself doubtful.




Sometimes, one wonder, why certain things seemed so easy and why certain things seemed so difficult.

Sometimes, one wonder, why certain things pass by so quickly, others just kept sticking to oneself.

Sometimes, one wonder, why the gloomy rainy sky outlasts the colorful rainbows.

P/S: I like Squall

Week 4

Week 4 has passed.

Summary: "Test of Fitness "

A Summary In Terms of Academics:
• Microeconomics going into a familiar territory, but luckily lecturer provide new insights often, so it is a different kind of learning.
•Macroeconomics I think has the best lecturer+tutor combination package for now.
• Stuttered a lil bit in statistics, but realized it was not much of a big problem, just some psychological effect.
• Econometrics finally rise in ratings. Good thing about Econometrics is that there is enough tutorials and answer keys to keep you occupied. I love this style.
• The course syllabuses are the same throughout the world, if it differs, it will not be much. What's different here is, the lecturers always want to force you to think in another direction. i.e. given a textbook scenario, lecturers tend to raise a few more different situations not in the textbook. So, to get the answer, think more or pay attention during lectures. It is not in lecture slides or textbook.
• After 4 weeks, I really have the feeling that I am studying AUP again. The style really is very similar. Except micro, 3 courses use US textbooks.
• Generally the first month academic satisfaction has been great.

A Summary In Terms of Life.
• BP debate second round debate. Noticeable improvements, but not too much. But it will take gradual, persistent steps to be truly competitive.
• Cycled the least miles.
• Amazed about the whole IT architecture of the whole ANU campus, courtesy of my mentor.
• Momentum in working out still continues. And today when I stepped on the scales, an astonishing figure appeared. I don't wanna reveal how many kg I gained since I came here. The nutrition here in Bruce Hall is very very conducive for some workout regimes without the use of protein shakes. The two glasses approx. 700 ml of soy milk everyday+countless other food contributed much.
• Didn't attend public lecture this week due to scheduling problems. There is this North Korea public lecture series going around these few weeks.

What's next?
• Study!
• Still gain more fitness!

status quo

By week 4, it seems that everything is back to status quo.

Everything is in an orderly system now, a system that has been programmed into myself very long time ago.

The schedule is not too different from that of during my INTI days. Order in prevalent in many aspects of my life, including sleeping, eating, thinking, studying, leisure. I have to wake up everyday at 8.00 a.m. or 8.30 a.m. or else I am going to starve. I have to study because it is what I came here for. I stopped thinking about certain things that will light a flare in me. I have to force myself to cycle that 700m stretch to the gym in order to maximize the value of the membership fees. I have to cycle a 1.0km stretch to library to surf the web and login to imeem or playlist.com so that my internet quota in my hostel will not be exhausted.

I guess this proves the principle that "People Respond to Incentives".

I love this orderly manner, because when things go in a mess, unexpected and absurd things tend to happen. 'Mistakes were made', and they tend to devastate the whole order, moving from a peak to a nadir. But after a supernova we usually have a supermassive black hole to suck in and destroy everything. This 'clean-up' is good in a way that one have to chance to rebuild a better system again. When one star dies, another better, brighter star is born. And this star will continue the process and last for infinitely large number of years.

Digression: "---- ----- will always have a place in -- -----", this statement has a complete reevaluation. The added stuff at the back of the sentence will be "for the wrong reasons".

Too Hot To Handle

So tonight was the BP Debate Round 2. In the first week, I was introduced to the level of competitiveness needed at such high level of varsity debating. This week, come head-to-head with the real deal. The "Opening Government" duo consisted of one the best groups of ANU. One of which is the President of the Debating Society and ANU representative to the Worlds and the other also an ANU representative to the Australs.

With them as the opening government, needless to say the match was decided in the first 7+7 minutes. They pinned everyone down real real hard from the start, and my team as the Opening Opposition, found it too tough to handle. They dominated the whole debate by setting a rock solid point that with my current level of skill, experience and knowledge, it seemed that their points were invincible. Also, I can't say how difficult it was to follow their speeches, not that it is unclear, it is just that I find it hard to process the information shot out like machine gun. Sometimes I even don't understand certain parts due to information overload...

To describe how I felt, I felt so...helpless, desperate to find a decent point to counter. Though I get the whole picture what they were trying to say, but without understanding the details just make it hard for me as a rebuttal speaker to counter.

It all boils down to one factor, the multiple weaknesses that I have to resolve to start being competitive.

Developing an argument is one huge area that needs to be improved. Sufficient to say that many of the members of the society are Law students, but this is not an excuse and I believe that if I really can improve myself in this area it will be of great help to myself especially academically. Such high level of debating emphasize a lot on the argument, that 1 solid argument can blow off 3-4 mediocre arguments. Talk is cheap, as I found out in 15 mins, developing a solid argument is so difficult. After developing arguments, the evidence needs to be solid as well. Evidence come from reading and analyzing. To be competitive, more reading is needed.

Listening is also another area that needs to be desperately improved. While I have no problems listening to normal conversations, debating is another matter. I have tons of work to do in terms of information processing, I need to do it.

So conclusion of this week's debate is that, it was an awesome occasion, not in terms of result but in terms of what I have learned. There is an abundance of opportunity to improve myself here, not only by debating with experienced members, but also from my own teammate. There is even a considerable gap in terms of me and my teammate that I will try hard to make up in preparation of the ANU Spring.

I feel fortunate to have such environment to train myself.

Sidenote: Grassroots training, and a conducive and competitive environment instead of history can propel something into great heights. My president has been winning countless debates tournaments and best speaker award since young even before coming to ANU. From there, I came to realize how active and strong the debating culture is in Australia. Perhaps this explains the strength of Australian universities in World Debating Rankings. Australian universities are generally young compared to the glamorous UK and US russel-ivy counterparts. Why they are so strong is probably down to the good system they have here. Perhaps that also explains how a Malaysian university is also in the top 10 in the debating rankings.

In macroeconomics I learned about catchup effect and the East Asian Miracles. Not only in debating but in many things, these two things that I have learned will find its usefulness. 1 year, at least, I will be competitive.

About Malaysian football CANNOT be strong again and will always be whipped by EPL teams is just pure BS.

Xtended Version

3 years ago, there were these lines being written...

In the night a child cries,
Foxes weeps as insect cries.
Somewhere in the night, humanity hides.

Somewhere in the night, a soul screams,
As people fades, lost in dreams.
Somewhere in the night, reality lives.

Somewhere in the night loneliness dwells,
As people hide eternally, with no sounding bells.
Somewhere in the night, he did not shed tears.

Somewhere in the night
Where is my light?

Somewhere in the night, reality lives.
Things that rise fast, their fall are equally furious.
Somewhere in the night, he learns.

Somewhere in the night, he wonders,
Whether bad ideas are indeed bad ideas,
Somewhere in the night, conscience thrives.

Somewhere in the night confusion beckons,
As everything lacked explanations,
Somewhere in the night, there were too much misunderstandings.

Somewhere in the night something resolves,
With the help of the past strangers,
Somewhere in the night, no distinction between former strangers and allies.

Somewhere in the night, the case rests,
Vanish into thin air, gone with the winds,
One thing's for sure, those were the great days.

Somewhere in the night,
Light illuminates from a sole bright star from the North.

Week 3

Week 3 has passed.

Summary: "Singular/Cingular"

A Summary In Terms of Academics:
• Macroeconomics continues to get better. While Dr. Pedro entertains a lot with his Spanish-style jokes, his problem sets(US term for Tutorial) are "unforgiving". Sheer number of questions(this is still managable), and somehow he loves to include some intriguing odd questions that you sometimes cannot figure out how to answer.
• Statistics is smooth.
• Econometrics, you kept wondering why the number of people attending lectures keeps on decreasing.
• Also, you might wonder whether ANU is taking US Universities as a model. 3/4 of my lecturers graduated from US. The style of assessment, is almost akin to US style too.

A Summary In Terms of Life.
• BP debate first round debate. Yes, there is still much to improve. Got a teammate for ANU Spring, quite an experienced public speaker and debater in Australia here. Good way to learn and gain experience.
• Cycled more miles than the week before.
• Bruce Hall meals mostly were great, except for a few really terrible ones.
• Predator is the best.
• Finally workout continues. The equipments were not as good as Celebrity Fitness, but it does the job. Yes, there's an added incentive of going workout here.

What's next?
• Study!
• Gain more fitness!

Thrown into the Arena

Today was the first round of the BP debates competitions.

• It was fun! I think my 3 hours spent at the Law Theatre was so rewarding.
• British Parliamentary Debating is hard when you really put that into practice.
• I wanted to solve my plateauing-debating-skills issue, and I believed I found the perfect Arena for that.
• Nice thing to be debating again as the government 2 whip(rebuttal speaker, I miss this role a lot). But as I say, I don't think my performance today was anywhere near class. Of course this is normal and from today I recognized the issues I have to solve(It will involve a long period)
• Debating was less rewarding, but the analysis of the strengths and weaknesses after the debate by an experienced adjudicator is something I need badly. At least, almost 1 hour dedicated to address each and everyone's strength and weakness. Also the ways to improve and develop a point was revealed. I think, this is the most satisfying part.
• Really, although manner scores points, but matter certainly is VERY IMPORTANT in this level of debating. Cheap tactics like calling a cow a horse don't work this time. You need fresh valid points now. To make it worse, 15 mins of preparation instead of 1 hour. This truly separates the greats and the pretenders.
• So what's next, I would say, give it at least a year, and I will be "revolutionized" and start becoming competitive.
  
• Lastly, I found a teammate for ANU Spring!
  

Quantifying

So when you study about history, especially economic history, have you ever wondered you can actually quantify things and prove a historical statement?

This was what Professor James Robinson from Harvard University did in a public lecture he gave in Haydon-Allen Lecture Theatre, The Tank, ANU. His CV can be accessed here. The topic was The Consequences of Radical Reform: The Economic Consequences of the French Revolution. It basically says during the turbulent times of the French Revolution, whether the policies like those imposed by Napoleon Bonaparte on conquered states actually made these states better off or worse off economically, and to what extent?

And so, an economic model was proposed and the whole lecture basically explains how it works, and the proves that actually conquered states are better off being conquered by French much later on. The professor actually summarized the whole thing into an equation to explain how they are better off, by using advanced statistics and mathematics.

There are a few outcomes from listening this lecture

1. I identified the broad range of things an economist can do, this is for one example.
   
2. I identified the power of econometrics.
3. I identified what research means, and it's value and importance
   
4. I identified that in academics there's no 100% right or wrong answers.

The reason I said the last statement was because at the end of the lecture I get to witness some live debates and discussions between academicians, of whom some are the professors at ANU, from History, Economics, Statistics, Econometrics(whom I am not familiar). They were generally debating stuffs that I honestly have 0 understanding. But I can say is, it's a refreshing experience. I probably is the only undergrad in the lecture theatre, but it's a good motivation. The professor, even though he's from a glamourous school like Harvard, is not afraid to address some of the things that the model failed to address, and I think such attitude is certainly very very important.

3 weeks of public lectures, and I really do love it. It excites interest in learning, and so.....I am reading about the French Revolution more in-depth now. I believe it is such culture that really make university life an university one.

and...digression: someone suggested that I go try out AFL.

Week 2

Week 2 has passed.

Title: "Transitional Period"

A Summary In Terms of Academics:

• Academics are generally satisfactory.
• Got used to the style of lectures and tutorials here.
• Of all the lectures, I would say Macroeconomics certainly started to pick up. Closing in to the point of satisfaction that I have for Microeconomics already.
  
• Statistics, what I can say is, I enjoy it because certainly the professor is kind enough, and she made statistics look so relaxing.
• Econometrics, still on basic maths stuff, but I reckon it will start to get interesting as the real deal comes i.e financial maths section next week.
• I hope to be a Tutor(equivalent to Teaching Assistant in US unis) and teach in Tutorials, some point in my later semesters.

A Summary In Terms of Life.

• Attended an interesting debating demonstration. There still is a big gap to make up for me.
• Attended a public lecture on East Asian Regionalism and Economic-Security Nexus, I find it useful as it proposed different perspectives and the significance in the issue itself.
• Cycled more miles than the week before.
• Bruce Hall meals mostly were great, except for a few really terrible ones.
  

What's next?

• Prepare for the exams which are a few weeks after this.
• Start resuming workout!
• Go library more frequently for some reasons and the other.
• Searching for a teammate for ANU Spring Open Debating Tournament

Lecture

So today the day started off with never-before-seen foggy conditions, lowering the temperature until 1 degree. With wind blowing, it felt as if the temperature broke into the negative territory.

Today's highlight is the public lecture by Professor T.J. Pempel, a Professor of Political Science from UC-Berkeley. His CV can be accessed here . The topic was "The Economic-Security Nexus and East Asian Regionalism".

What does the title mean? The topic explores the link between the economy and security. Why nations sometimes have escalated conflicts, and yet rarely the situation goes into sanctioning? Why is Japan so concerned about North Korea firing warheads? In Malaysian context, why Malaysia fought with Singapore over a small island called Pedra Branca? This part involves the economic-security linkage that made Professor Pempel's topic today.

On East Asian Regionalism, the issue focused on the major players in the region's economy internally and externally. This part explored the prevalence of the numerous bodies such as ASEAN, APEC, EAEC, etc. and the bilateral, trilateral and multilateral relationships among the nations in this economic sphere. It also addressed the successes and failings of each of such organizations and cooperations and the reasons of them.

I think this time round I found more ease in understanding what the professor said, compared to last week. It was a thrilling experience as when he explained, suddenly I got the "epiphany" that why some issues are like that, and the others are like that in the news. For example, leaders don't just go to summits and shake hands. And it is not as simple as "Economic cooperation" alone. The different strategies employed by Asian countries were discussed. (I.e. Why make a fuss over North Korea?)

Next week, another lecture to come. There is a Visiting Professor from Harvard who will be talking about how French Revolution impact the economy today. Wow, something that long ago can impact today's economy, this lecture certainly is a must-attend.

As for this lecture, I am slowly picking up the steps. I can't say that I have maximized 100% out of the lecture today but I am working towards it.

and today is the XXth day i arrived in Canberra!

Debate

The demonstration debate at the Law Theater was a fruitful one as it explains the style of the British Parliamentary debate system and of course the standard required or expected in the World Varsity-level of debating. The topic was "Democracy or Development first?" and we had the best of ANU debaters squaring off in the Law Theater in the Law School Building.

What is British Parliamentary system and why is it so interesting? First, let me explain the format of the BP style of debating. As opposed to the 3 v 3 format(Used usually in Australian and Asian tournaments), you now have 2v2 v 2v2. You still have government and opposition, but each has their 2 different factions within. Take an example, in Malaysia, BN has UMNO, MIC, MCA, PR has PKR, DAP and PAS. Every faction has to support their own ally, while they also have to make clear their own "manifesto" or points. Basically, fighting on both fronts, against two oppositions, while helping and against your own ally.

This format is interesting, as the 2nd team in the government and opposition will have to support their first teams, but also have to think hard to diffrentiate themselves by making a good "case extension". There are pros and cons in every role, and this certainly adds spice to the whole debate.

So, it was just what happened during the debate. It was an exciting affair as 4 teams, 8 people engage in a rigourous intellectual exchange. The speakers were impressive as they have both the style and the substance to bring forward their points. You have the serious one, humourous one, sacarstic one, strong one, firm one, slow but steady one...but the fundamental thing was, each had their own points, albeit delivered in a different style. To look at the clash of different styles was interesting, there was no personal attacks or "loud but lacking substance". POI's were flying around and it was interesting how they answered their POI, with confidence, humor and the kind of steadyness that really was amazing.

In the end, the debate ended with Government 2 winning ahead of Opposition 1, Government 1 and Opposition 2.

I feel excited watching the debate. While the high standards sure are intimidating(they speak very very fast but clear and I had slight trouble following their words, and that's the worst situation a debater can get into), but of course it broadened my visions on how it is like to be competing at such level and what I can do to really improve myself. No matter communicatively or intellectually, debate requires rigourous mastery of both especially at the higher levels. Hence, for this first year I put my sights in improving myself technically and master the proper techniques of debating. While past experiences are useful, but I think it is important to start all over again especially in understanding the fundamentals of the game. Da Vinci started by drawing eggs. Admitedly in debating, I didn't start off by "drawing eggs", so it's imperative that I start from "drawing eggs".

To have a taste of competition, probably I can try qualifying for the ANU Spring Debate Open tournament this coming September. It hosts debaters from all over Australia and don't be fooled by the term "Just Australia Only", Australian universities are exceptionally strong in debating with Monash, Sydney and Melbourne topping the charts in World Varsity Debates and Australasian Debate frequently. They are like Real Madrid, Liverpool and AC Milan in Champions League, while ANU can be compared to Chelsea.

And that's all for debating. Next week the first round of internal competitions are going to start. It is a good way to learn as who knows you may get paired with a ANU veteran and debate together as a team.

It just gets exciting. Who says ANU or Canberra is boring?

Sisu

That day I was watching this video , where Mika Hakkinen(2-consecutive-times F1 Champ) taught a guy from Top Gear(a motoring show in UK) on how to drive at high speeds on a loose surface in Finland. This video is funny and Mika certainly puts Initial D's Takumi Fujiwara into shame. (Look at how Mika drifts with a Mercedes so smoothly and quickly and you will know).

There is a segment when Mika sits down with the host and the host started asking a few questions with regard to racing, driving and the Finnish culture. This is when I came across the term "Sisu", which means....

Sisu is a Finnish term translated into English as strength of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in the face of adversity. It has been described as being integral to understanding Finnish culture. The meaning is equivalent in English to "having guts", and the word derives from sisus, which means something inner or interior. Sisu has a long-term element in it; it is not momentary courage, but the ability to sustain it.(Wikipedia)

So Mika explains why Finns are so good at racing: It is a good way to demonstrate their sisu. Climbing high up a tree and jump down, this is not "sisu", it is "stupidity", explains him. Well, motor racing is dangerous and it is difficult to proceed up the ranks. So I guess it is this sisu that make Finns so fast. Else the faint hearted would have backed off the sport or brake early.

Interesting, Finland is interesting. Hopefully I will have the chance to study about the Scandinavian culture here sooner or later. To illustrate the virtues and strengths of their culture, perhaps it is best to mention the way they fought WWII (They did not declare neutrality like Switzerland did). It was the only European country which bordered the Soviet Union in 1939 and was still unoccupied in 1945. (Think of Soviet's military might at that time, which "terminated" and "annihilated" Hitler's force at Stalingrad) Of all the European countries fighting in World War II, only three European capitals were never occupied: Moscow, London and Helsinki. It was a country which sided with Germany, but in which native Jews and almost all refugees were safe from persecution. It was the only co-belligerent of Nazi Germany which maintained democracy throughout the war. It was also the only belligerent in mainland Europe to do so.

Hence, it is no wonder that Finns have got this special talent in motor sports. But I personally think it is not down to talent alone, I think it is the specific work ethic and values they have. Look at the video, and you will know. Every weekend they have some "amateur" rally race, which involves competitors like, "the pensioner", "the housewife", "the bartender", and a "6-year-old" kid, drifting their cars in the narrow roads in the Finland forests. Sisu indeed.

Week 1

Week 1 has passed.

A Summary In Terms of Academics:

• Lectures are generally good.
  
• Huge class size (because the subjects I take are introductory courses)
• Microeconomics lecturer stands out. Intuition tells me that I can get a good headstart in learning about Economics. But his grading standard's sure are high, not that it's a bad thing. An "A" I may get in INTI, but still I am unsatisfied with the general level of learning achieved at that time. So, I hope to revamp whatever I have learned. Even "Opportunity Costs", "Scarcity", "Marginal Benefits and Costs" contains important meanings behind them. Thanks to the week 1 lecture.
• Statistics are just basic. So I just need to be careful, hardworking enough and do what I am supposed to do. Confident to do well.
• Econometrics, scanned through, same as statistics. I just need to be careful. Only simple calculus(compared to Cal III) but it involves adaptation to suit the Economic theories.
  
• Macroeconomics, uses the same textbook as INTI, generally the book is quite easy to understand. But I really do hope to boost my knowledge in macroeconomics.
• Not bad, can attend free lectures if you want....Wanna listen to STAT3001? LAW3001? No problem. Just go into the theater and sit down there. No enrolment required. Reflects the vast resource and infrastructure of the university itself.

A Summary In Terms of Life.

• This week is dubbed the Bush Week. (Christmas in July)
  
• This is when you join clubs, participate in a wide array of activities, get free food.
• Joined Debating, Malaysian Student Organization, and UNICEF-ULO
• Enthusiastic about debating. The society features every week debates(where you go in and join the fun in debating in Law School, free food and drinks). Featuring a league/ladder system, so your performance is cumulative. Chance to participate in ANU Spring(Open debate competition where ANU play hosts to teams from whole Australia), and if you are good enough you get to represent ANU in the World Varsity Debates(currently only ranked 26th in the world)
  
• No training for representing Bruce Hall in Interhall Soccer Competition. Still sidelined. Sad.
• As for other events, mostly alchoholic. Absent. When it is alchoholic, if it is good, nothing happens. If the alchohol starts to take over a person's mind, problems come.
  
• This week rained a lot. Freezing cold while riding a bike. Luckily brought the pair of gloves that people use during skiing.

What's next?

• Tutorials start next week. Hmm......very very important.
• Whether next week will be a good time to resume workout is still a question.
• Study.

Lecture

Yesterday I attended this public lecture by Prof. Dale Henderson in ACPD Theater, Hedley Bull Center. It was my first time entering the building and the design inside the center is amazing. The theater is also way different and more comfortable than what I get in Manning Clark Center(Usual lecture theater).

The lecture theater was filled with...adults, even the youngest probably looked like my brother than my peers. Undergrads were nowhere to be seen. But well, of course age doesn't matter in learning. To sum up, I gained something from the public lecture yesterday. Even though there were still certain jargon and terms that I don't quite really understand, but I got the whole picture of what he is trying to say. At least, to understand the financial crisis, he did not give some "textbook" explanations but a thoughtful analysis on the issue itself on what really went wrong. I think due to time constraints, he focused a great deal of time in talking about the housing bubble. And then he would propose a few solutions on how the central banks around the world have done and their projections of the future. Last part was QnA session, you just couldn't imagine how fast and steady he was when answering the audience's questions(Most of whom I believe were professors themselves). This is the man who probably sit down together with Ben Bernanke every month in the Fed during Board of Governor Meetings, and it's not hard to understand why.

So, I benefited from the lecture greatly. More to come. Since I am free in terms of timetable(Timetable has not been that rigorous even with tutorials), and plus all the studying time it still doesn't fill up my time slots, expect me to attend more of such lectures. Looking at the calendar, hmm, quite a number of interesting topics. Black holes, discussions on arctic oil exploration, nexus among rising regionalism, economic cooperation and security tensions, India's Role in Afghanistan...etc. a whole list to choose.

The Landing

Weekends were uneventful for me as I took the opportunity to rest in my room to prepare for the weeks ahead.

The semester is almost like the American University Program in INTI, 14 semesters. However, you get 2 weeks mid-term break after a 10 weeks of studies. Even though with this holidays, I reckon that it will be much more hectic than last time.

I hope I can get 4 HD for this semester. In January I vowed to myself that I MUST get 4 flat in my last sem in INTI, and I did it. Hence, this time, I set my sights on 4 HD this time. But this time it ain't going to be easy but I am not giving up.

Tomorrow there's a public lecture on "The Financial Crisis: What happened and why?" by Professor Dale Henderson. His CV can be accessed here. To sum up, he is one of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System from 1971-present, and has extensive experience teaching in top schools like Yale, UPenn and Georgetown. Well, this is free and having a respected figure like him to give public lectures in your campus certainly is a good experience. Of course, there are more public lectures besides this to come and I just can't say how lucky I am to be here. ANU is no Ivy, no Russell, but it certainly has a breath of its own.

Still browsing through what to join for clubs. I have shortlisted a few and I just have to wait and see how it is by going to a few of their meetings or such. Football club is totally ruled out for this sem. T.T

Starting Up

Classes are going to start in a few days time. And these few days I most probably spend time recuperating in my dorm.

Today I went cycling around the town. I was impressed by the thought and commitment of the government here in making cycling a practical mean of traveling. There was virtually no difficulty for me cycling out from campus to the city as there were nicely paved tracks all around the town, so there is no need to risk your life cycling on the tarmac. There are ramps in everywhere for you to go from the pavement to the road then to the other side, in case you want to switch to the other side of the road. The traffic lights are designed in a way that, you cycle across the street like a normal pedestrian crosses the road. Probably it isn't a strange thing here to have your bicycle wheels filled with air at the gas station(It fills up real quick and the tyre gets real firm). If you want to park your bicycle, there are bicycle-car-parks everywhere. It doesn't need to you to pay a single cent for the parking. If you ride a bike and you are lazy to cycle back your campus, you can attach the bike in front of a rack in any public buses and you can ride home for free.(In the name of encouraging people to ride bikes)

I think this is how you encourage people to switch to a more environmental-friendly means of transport. To be honest, I have never rode a bike in the streets of Malaysia due to safety concerns. (Today I probably covered more miles here than I did in my whole 19 years in Malaysia!)However, the experience is good. You feel safe riding a bike here, you feel convenient. Probably the downside is the wind tends to very cold when you increase the speed. And to navigate through certain terrain is still quite a challenge for me. But overall, great experience.

This week not much serious activities. Lectures are starting next week. Not only with lectures, I am also excited about the prospects about attending a list of public events such as public seminars, lectures and talks that will start to be held throughout the semester. Usual perceptions are that these are boring, but I love the prospects of learning. Who knows, I might just have another life-changing event while attending these events.

There's still much to explore about the campus. I have yet to seriously discover the numerous libraries across the campus. I have been to the Chiefly Library once only. They have different libraries for different concentrations. Business and Economics will have another library.

Alright, this is my home for these coming 4 months, then the few years after that. Intiball is today and I would actually go if I am in Malaysia. However, I realized that sometimes you have to let go of certain things to move on. Canberra is a good place, in certain aspects even better than my home. So, no complains.

I feel lucky to be here.

Short Update

These two days summed up:-

Explore, shop, freeze

The first few days were aimed at adjusting to the new environment and building social network.
Then, it was about learning the ways of life here and shop for necessities to settle down.

This place is a good place to live. It is evident from the manner I increased my weight.

To be honest, the place might look barren, but the shopping malls here are functional. It has all the things you want and its size is like 2 floors of Mid Valley. So don't be fooled by the empty streets outside. Wait till you see the inside.

Wind still cuts the skin of my nose badly, no matter how much cream I apply.
People are friendly here, from grocery shopkeepers to securities to police.

And I finally got a bike. Gonna paint it with the livery of Scuderia Ferrari F1 or 1999 West Mclaren Mercedes. I also thinking about painting my helmet into Raikkonen's or Schumacher's helmet design.

Orientation?

Expectations and anticipations run high and 2 months of recuperation has recharged myself thoroughly after the tiring college semesters.

I am in ANU now, so it's a totally different environment now. Essentially, the pressure here is immense, I met quite a number of talented and motivated people, which is good. And browsing through the great CV's of professors certainly excites me a lot.

Here, the rules are different. Everything is not like in Malaysia already. The emphasis and focus on academic quality and excellence are strong. So, no more paraphrasing, quoting from Wikipedia, plagiarism and all sort of things that usually run rampant in some Malaysian institutions. Orientation Day probably didn't have flamboyant and bombastic performances, but it gave me an insight of what is the academic culture and expectations that are required here, and of course...what are the opportunities of having fun here. (Futsal!!! Too bad, not for this sem).

It's cold and unforgiving here. The winds feels like peeling off the skin of my face, even with cream applied. And I still cannot breathe in the dry air for the moment. But despite the cold weather, the campus itself is a beautiful and breathtaking one. Probably there's not gothic style buildings like Oxbridge or Harvard, but well, the buildings serve their purpose well. Clean, functional.

You also have the nice scenery of the lake here(where I walked so far to the bike shop beside the lake only to find that they are only selling it next week). But that place certainly is a good place to sit there and enjoy the scenery.

New life it certainly is. As I was finding the Recylcery, I stumbled across Winston's Churchill's statue in the campus. In chinese, there is a saying, 人固有一死，或重于泰山，或轻于绒毛。I think to live a life like Churchill, to die a death like him with the legacy, is perhaps the best way for someone to live his life.

No More Sorrow

It was "Smiles", not "Tears" that kept me going.

I left my beloved homeland for a faraway place, leaving back the burden of the past behind, picking up the new tasks and responsibilities of the future. Sorrow there was, despair there was, false-hope there was; It was never easy to leave a place and the people that you had so much feeling for it.

Was it a plain illusion? Was it a rebound effect? Was it a unjustified expectation? I do not want to answer. I do want to keep repeat, repeat and repeat the same pretension, same reason, same excuse; which in the end only lead me to one thing, "tears". I just want to do two things now, "Focus" and "Smile".

Last few posts talked about resolving regrets. Now, most of the regrets have been solved, if there is anything left, that "one" is better left to its own. I want to move on. I came to Canberra with a reason, I came here to solve a biggest question of my life, I came here to prove a point. Cliche it may sound, but it was the reason I put away my list of "loves" and "hates" behind in Malaysia.

Luke Skywalker detonated the Death Star with some "tricks" and talents in A New Hope. Detonating the whole Death Star was considered quite a considerable feat I would say, but to stagnate and rejoice at that point will soon bring us to another 2 episodes in Star Wars. Nowhere near the status of a Jedi Master, Luke was guided by Obiwan Kenobi's spirit to Dagobah, the land of swarms(A terrifying place where Luke's X-wing sunk into the bottom of the swarm) to seek Master Yoda. It is in Dagobah that he learned the true meaning of being a warrior, and was later able to overcome his own fear and hatred to defeat Darth Vader and Emperor. Was going to Dagobah necessary? Yes.

Well, Canberra isn't some Dagobah, it isn't Coruscant either. I would compare Taiping and Canberra. First impressions about the place is good that I felt like I am back home. Quiet, serene, lush with greenery, it is the place that I would call home. Laying on the bed in my room was like laying on my favourite bed back in Taiping. You notice that time passes slowly and all the childhood memories start popping into your mind. You can forget the terrible jam in Federal Highway, you can forget the dirty filthy crowded SS15, you can forget the obnoxious residents and guests alike who park their car inconsiderately in Bangsar.

And all that, for 3 years at least. Yes, leave behind all the regrets for now please. Leave them all behind, leave them all behind, leave them absolutely behind. Being whiny stops nothing. When it is a "X", it's a "X";When it is an "O", it will always be an "O". When it isn't yours, it isn't. But when it is, it will be in your hands eventually. My crush on Ivies, my devotions, my affections may have caused a tingling bitter sensation in my heart for now. But, just remember that, it's all over now, I am in a whole new game now. The past is the past.

Will the real Sephyrave please stand up?

Ver. X

Surprising, sudden, but not absurd anymore...

7 08 was the date. Frank Sinatra's My Way mentioned a few regrets. Regrets, I had a few. But, you can never imagine what is the feeling of resolving your long list of regrets one by one. Each one tumbling like a deck of cards arranged standing close to one and another.

Well, I will not recite out the regrets. It's all practically solved. I just felt that an entire burden has been let go. Done and dusted. Whatever's left to do is to move on, whether it's JPA or Shell.

Friends come from afar, it's joyous to have them by your side. Two days ago, probably it was a good day to welcome the friends that you missed being with them. Ben, Susan, Fel and Xin...you all made my day. It was fantastic redeeming the past outings that I have missed due to my SATs, my TOEFL, my all sorts of interviews. The first day I joined Rotaract, I joined with a reason. Probably missing some of the great outings is a blot, but what I can say is, I did my best. I tried my very best for the good of Rotaract. Even though Rotaract is a has-been now, but I can loudly proclaim that I didn't join Rotaract for a waste.

For the unofficial "installation", yes, the oath was momentous. I agreed that I will continue contributing to the community, serve the best of people. Well, those are not words that you simply say. I believe, no matter you are Rotaractor or not, you will do good deeds for the best of everyone.

I definitely feel the obligation a lot now. JPA, Shell or whatever scholarships is not some 4D or trophy that you can use for your own interests. I believe it is an opportunity to realize my dreams of helping people. I wrote somewhere that I symphatise with plight of Rwandan child soldiers, the starvation and numerous social problems among the African communities. We have a UNICEF helping them, don't we? But why humanitarian aid always does not solve the problem, and how economics can help to save these people...These are the things that interest me.

Speaking back to the "installation", I now truly believed in "initiative". It is the initiative that drive things. Why plans or dreams fail, because usually there really isn't the initiative to start with. To start a car you need the starter plug, to start a fluorescent lamp you need a starter. Without that, no matter what Ferrari you drive, it's not gonna start. I was talking to Susan about how bad it is to not have an installation, and how sad it is to have an ending like this for Rotaract. I kept on saying that we need a dinner, but of course at the same time it wasn't easy, as everyone has their own commitments and plans. I remembered I said it was "impossible", but what was "impossible"? I was never a firm believer in "impossibility". So I proceeded with it anyway. The dinner is on, no problems for everyone. All the important people are here, except a few which was a waste.

The greatest thing was not the dinner, nor was it the fact that everyone came to my house surprisingly to have chinese tea. One year back, there were concerns whether I could adapt and fit in this A levels-dominated club. If Ben speak Turkish, if Susan spoke French, if Xin spoke Russian, if Nat spoke English, if Fel spoke Japanese, then I would speak Vulcan(spoken by Spock in Star Trek) Did I adapt? Yes. I did. Resolved.

Interesting things happened. If you know what I mean. I really can laugh off the things that happened over the past week, it's like turning back your photobook, and see what you funny little things that you have done during your childhood. Yeah, no regrets, no regrets, no regrets. Everything's normal now. LOL. I like things to be "plain and eternal".

Sum it up,

Exciting, exhilarating and extraordinary.





.......and "X" stands for..............






10th of July, 2009

Fate

July 8, in fate I believe in, and I really do.

Jia Cheng is my best friend at INTI. I did not expect to meet him again after the Beau Bristow concert. But fate arranged another meeting for us, I forgot to return him his student ID that day!!! Also, he is bent on revenge after the "Ultra-motivated-Sephyrave" defeated him in 4 straight one-on-one DotA matches, which left him speechless. Probably that day was just luck, as I was "ultra-motivated" due to "something", so yesterday was the day to prove whether it was a fluke.

To be honest, yesterday afternoon wasn't the most motivating day. Jia Cheng easily got his first blood, but of course I readjusted my emotions and got the better of him. The 2nd match was...difficult. I was terribly disappointed over something. His Rhasta broke my tower so easily and the "Sephyrave-ver. X" wasn't lucky this time. But, I prevailed, and Jia Cheng finally lost with pride.

Victory was not the important thing yesterday. It was to celebrate our brotherhood, that complemented each other well. How many subjects were we in the same class? Psychology, ENL, Calculus I, Moral, Microecons, CSC, Calculus II, Marketing, Calculus III. How many times we have eaten together at AC, Salmon Steak, Little Taiwan? Those were the days and they will always stay on as memories.

To be able to play with you in the few days before my flight was satisfying. I took a lot of excuses not to play with you last time, but...I fulfilled the promise. You beat me countless times before that, but in the end, we fought to a equal. This is perhaps the best way to conclude a story.

Self-preservation

.....Symbolized by the dead soldier, Stephen Crane’s message in The Red Badge Of Courage about self-preservation is also inspiring to me. A dead person will be unable to carry on what he or she intends to do....

Something that I had written somewhere after much thoughts...

Received an invitation in facebook to join this sem's INTI closed futsal tournament. I missed Futsal/Football very much and it had such a big impact on me these few years that I would say again, (like what I said in the previous post), without it I will not be Raymond Tan today.

Too bad, I ain't joining it this sem. I would love to, but I couldn't. Frustrated? Sad? Bitter? Probably. Football is my love(passion), I would appreciate any opportunity of playing football. Without it, it is just like having a missing part in your life. However, it's different this time. I recognized the need to assess my priorities. I just COULDN'T play this time, nuff said.

Self-preservation is important. No matter psychologically or physically, I faced numerous challenges lately. But the notion of self-preservation still stands. I realize I have to move on, move on, and move on. It's a waste if you breakdown, just like a Raikkonen's Mclaren breaking down on the last lap. Spectacular lap times, breathtaking overtaking....it all is worthless when you get a suspension failure and crash into a tyre barrier. Whatever angst, anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration...time to let it all go.

I miss......a lot of people. I would cry a hundred times being touched by the good things that the people around me do for me. Who are those people? None other than my family. But still, this is for the better for everyone, and come on, what's 4 months? What's 3 years? Time to let it all go. There are many more good things to come...

ANU

I cannot say how much I am excited about the prospects of going to ANU.

If one recall my posts a few months back, October 11 post...

It is the dream of every football player to play in Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Real Madrid, AC Milan...It is the dream of every student to enter top higher learning institutions like the HYPD, Oxford, Cambridge, MIT.

To compare a football club with ANU, nothing seems more appropriate than comparing it to my beloved club, Chelsea. Coincidentally, ANU and Chelsea both have blue liveries. But colour is of course not the only reason you compare the two.

To be honest, ANU's reputation still pales in comparison if you put it side by side with Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxbridge or even MIT. It is only 63 years old, established right after World War II. It is located in a place that people seldom heard about(Canberra) compared to Sydney or Melbourne. That is just the case with Chelsea. Chelsea has one of the smallest stadiums among the big name teams. Its players were essentially not anywhere near the status of "Galacticos"(until after Chelsea achieved some success). Who were Terry, Lampard, Joe Cole, Essien, Drogba before Chelsea started to taste success?

Regardless of what Chelsea win, people will always point to the fact that it lacks the glamourous history like Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal FC Barcelona, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich. Even fallen giants like Nottingham Forest, Leeds United have had more glamourous history than Chelsea.

To relate history to the quality of a school or a team is just unfair. ANU performs reasonably well in rankings, it has a good team of faculty and students. Like Chelsea, even though it lacks history, in recent years it has won numerous silverwares, reached the Champions League semifinals and finals like a regularity. If that isn't the sign of its strength, what is?

But to brag about joining a good team without doing anything is just idiotic and shameless. You can join a good team and being labelled as a "misfit" if you don't work hard enough. You can join Real Madrid, be with a team of Galacticos and become a laughing stock on the field(if you don't do anything to appreciate the opportunity)

The likes of the Chelsea's backbone certainly serves as an inspiration. Success don't come because you get affliated with something. ANU will be a good foundation to start off, but the rest of the days truly depends on myself to work hard for it. I relish the prospects, I anticipate the challenge and I hope for the best.

Tribute

Sometimes to confess isn't that hard after all.

Yesterday was my so-called Tribute Day that was dedicated to the lecturers who had taught me. Of all the lecturers, probably Dr. Borges stand out the most as my one of my most respected figures as meeting him was as I always termed it, a "life-changing event".

Dr. Borges taught me US History, and I couldn't have imagined having someone other than him to teach me the subject. The first time I met him was, the first US History I class, interestingly, with KC and Zhiyi(whom both will be with me in Australia). Perhaps it is not that interesting, but having yourself locked out from the class in your first class definitely is interesting enough. Luckily he was kind enough to let us in later, and the adventure starts there.

I think Dr. Borges is an interesting lecturer. As you may expect discipline to be laxly enforced in a college, it was not the case for him at all. Yes, he is an American, but he upholds discipline that was even stricter by our standards. He locks you out if you do not arrive on time in class. He reprimands you badly if you swear in class. He doesn't like cellphones ringing in class. Some students probably got angered by how he say things sometimes, but generally to be honest, what he said were usually meant for the good. Good in a way that, you can't be successful without having the standard of things that he expects.

In terms of knowledge, I was not only taught, but was inspired by him. US History itself is a testament of how genuine ideas and relentless resilience can power your way to success. Forget the materialistic America that the media usually portrays, I think American have every right to feel proud of their achievements. With nothing but perseverance, in 300 years we see a strong America that has huge power dictating the world trend.

Why US History is interesting, because it shown how one's origin did not matter. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln... were all essentially self-made man, that made their mark in history all through their own. Abraham Lincoln is my most admired character of all. He is known to emancipate slaves, but I am more impressed by how he won the war that preserved the union.

I read an article yesterday in the June 2009 Harvard Business Review on how ethics have eroded in the current corporate world, that business schools have lost their public's trust. The lack of ethics then contributed some part to our global economy crisis. Is sacrificing ethics justifiable in exchange of success? Abraham Lincoln will definitely say no, which probably was the reason he won the war. America has many presidents, but none without good ethics actually go down well on the history books. Think Warren Harding, think Richard Nixon. It just serves as a reminder to me on the importance of ethics. Some people think we need to take to backdoor to succeed in life, disregarding ethics, but I would say, whatever it is, being ethical always will bring to the best conclusion.

I think with Dr. Borges guidance, I benefited from the essence of history itself. In a world where we only think of mathematical models, economic theories, logic to solve problems, the humanities education should be cement its importance in learning objectives as well. I am glad that, Dr. Borges let me understand this point. Without studying US History, it is impossible that I will be who I am today.

And also, in colleges, it's rare that professors actually care about what a student's problems are. Dr. Borges does that. He was supportive throughout the year and it helped relieved me a lot when I was down.

And so, Dr. Borges, it was nice meeting you. I feel extremely extremely fortunate. Hence this post will be dedicated to you and hopefully, hopefully...I can be in the same class under you again.

Follow Up to The Previous Post

That day I joked with Wern Pheng, on how anime like Dragon Ball and Naruto always have a similar storyline.

A hero> new enemy>hero trains>defeats enemy>peace>
godlike enemy appears out of nowhere>hero gets beaten>hero trains>hero fights hard>hero wins>peace>
alien comes from space>kills everyone>hero fights but loses>hero trains again>hero fights again>hero wins>peace>etc etc.

I think this is same for real life too isn't it?

The New Beginning

I was thinking about what title to put for this post. "A New Hope"? "Crossing the 'New Divide'"? "Sephyrave:Revolution?".....finally settled on something simple.

Yesterday was one of my happiest day in my life. Well, at least, many "questions" were put to an end. The Shell Scholarship had much meanings to me, not only in terms of the past, but also what I anticipate for the future.

Sometimes it is strange, on how you badly wanna relive your past, clinging on to it even though it is "impossible". Yet, you badly want to know what are the great things that are yet to come. I decided to move forward, for I could see the future starting from yesterday.

Sufficient to say that, I am grateful that I am able to join Shell, a great company. However, I understand that the battle does not just end there. Just like in F1, joining a good team is one thing, winning the championship and having your name etched in the history books is another matter.

Since I am a Ferrari fan, and Shell is the major sponsor of Ferrari, I will tell the stories of two Ferrari drivers whose fate differed greatly(even though both joined "prestigious" team) . Now, who are the two? Kimi? Massa? Alain Prost? Eddie Irvine? No, the two drivers are Jean Alesi and Michael Schumacher.

People know much about Schumacher, but who is Alesi? Today people almost forgot who Alesi is, but in fact, Alesi was once a prodigy like Schumacher and Hamilton did. In his debut, he led against the great Ayrton Senna for 25 laps, had an amazing wheel to wheel battle before he had to settle in the 2nd place. He did it with a car that was inferior(Tyrell). In Monaco, he achieved a 2nd place with his inferior Tyrell again. At the end of the year, he was recruited by Ferrari to partner with 3-time World Champion Alain Prost.

By joining Ferrari, Alesi was a "Champion-in-the-making". Yet probably due to luck, Ferrari experienced disastrous downturn. Quoted from wiki, "Various drivers, notably Alain Prost, had given the vehicles labels such as "truck", "pig", and "accident waiting to happen".^[42] The poor performance of the Ferrari pit crews was considered a running joke." Probably Alesi can blame his luck, but wait till you listen to the story of Schumacher.

Schumacher joined Ferrari amidst tons of controversy. People called him a cheat by taking out Damon Hill in 1994. And then, people accused him of using some illegal technologies like Active Suspension. So, he joined Ferrari in a bid to prove himself. The man he replaced was none other than Alesi himself. When he joined, Ferrari was still in its doldrums. But, he successfully transformed Ferrari into a title contender, and enjoyed the period of what's so-called the "Ferrari-dominance" era from 2000-2004.

Probably I am unfair to Alesi, but he had the enough time to prove himself. 5 years time to prove in fact. Schumacher took 4-5 years to win his 3rd drivers crown. This is the track record for both of them.

Jean Alesi

Active years	1989–2001
Teams	Tyrrell, Ferrari, Benetton, Sauber, Prost, Jordan
Races	202 (201 starts)
Championships	0
Wins	1
Podiums	32
Career points	241
Pole positions	2
Fastest laps	4
First race	1989 French Grand Prix
First win	1995 Canadian Grand Prix
Last win	1995 Canadian Grand Prix
Last race	2001 Japanese Grand Prix

Michael Schumacher

Active years	1991–2006
Teams	Jordan, Benetton, Ferrari
Races	250 (248 starts)
Championships	7 (1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004)
Wins	91
Podiums	154
Career points	1,369
Pole positions	68
Fastest laps	76
First race	1991 Belgian Grand Prix
First win	1992 Belgian Grand Prix
Last win	2006 Chinese Grand Prix
Last race	2006 Brazilian Grand Prix

So, it just serves as a powerful reminder to myself. There's still a long long way to go. I am excited by the prospects, but care must be taken. Joining a great team isn't guaranting one instant success. But failure doesn't mean it is the end. Think Alonso. Champions don't blame their luck, they try their best to overturn the situation. Schumacher and Alesi joined Ferrari when they are at their worst. But their charisma was what that made the difference in levels of success.

I believe there's much more to come. Surprising and absurd it may seem, but that's just the hard realities of life.

A fair word for Alesi, he remains a gentleman and he is well-loved by the tifosi. I believe probably that is one of his few successes, winning over the hearts. He may not be lucky in winning the championship, but at least, he won over the hearts of people.

Sometimes You Need To Live The Question

A pass of the ball from Gerald to Kang Yao, Kang Yao sprinted down the left flank. He tried to beat Tian Ji with his "drunkard-style" dribbling, and yes he suceeded(in what was a rare occassion). Kang Yao swept a pass to the center towards Raymond. It was a one-on-one situation and Joe as the opposing keeper had to run out to intercept the ball under his feet.

In thousandth of a second, questions popped out in my mind. “Should I shoot the ball? Should I run past the keeper? Should I pass to my teammates behind?” The unavoidable “What if’s?” and “Should I?” always find a place in our minds. Yet, sometimes these are the question that tests your patience. Often one find no immediate solution in the meanwhile, and sometimes if left uncontrolled, it will soon turn into a hostile force inside you, eating away oneself one piece at a time. But of course, it reaps tremendous rewards if one manage to silence the devil and what's left is an untouchable "Marcus Wright"'s strong heart. I am glad, that the latter happened.

Living with the question is never easy as questions are inevitable and unsolvable usually. The more you despair, the more you sink deeper into the pits of no return. For example in academics, where results are shown only at the end, you wonder whether you can get the desired performance you want. Now these is just a small part, sometimes certain questions(not only in terms of academics)take years, decades for you to know the answer.

Questions, questions, questions, just like Venom on Spiderman's suit, you want it to go away, but it doesn't. I discovered that by living with the question, I have to enjoy experiencing the things that would lead to the answer. Yes, perhaps the best way to live the question is to enjoy the question itself. Instead of stagnating at the point of confusion, I always focus my efforts in solving the questions and hope everything turn out in a positive way. Had I dwelled in my own questions while running towards the goal for example, I could have missed the goal and all the excitements that ensued.

And so Raymond tapped-in the goal past Joe to score and shouts of "Drogba!!!" can be heard. Not exactly the goal of the century, it is the usual goal-poaching that he does on the court and what his teammate did was to project a smile on their face. Take a few high fives, embraces, hugs.....before Arwin points to the goal and say, "Now it's your turn to become the keeper". Well, at least, the "thousandth of a second" question solved, the next question will be "Will we win the match" and the same golden rule applies, live with it for the full 90 minutes. At 90 minutes, I will experience the answer and it will be just like a hard-fought win in a soccer game.

Homecoming

Exactly 8 months after I have written my last blog post, I reckon that it is time to come back to the place where I call rightfully call my second home. My long absence has been telling about the plethora of things that happened throughout the 8 months journey. This journey, filled with ups and downs, is after all the most fruitful journeys I have been.

So, what happened after Yale? I sought admissions to other top universities, dubbed the sacred "Ivy Leagues and its equivalent". Since I came to college, I learned everything about America and came to love it. Hence, it is this love that I desperately wanted to go to these institutions. The process was arduous. Constantly thinking about who you are, what you want to achieve, why you want to go to X college, who is your inspiration etc. "Sometimes you need to live the question", this UChicago bummer, was interesting but downright complicated. However, writing countless college essays was rewarding. Learning about the alumni of these universities and their successes, provided me the vision. Writing about who you are, enabled me to understand myself better. The process will soon bring me to an unexpected outcome...totally unexpected.

Of course, the journey towards the ivies also brought me to meet several people. Through interviews, I was inspired by the humble personality of everyone of the alumni. The fact that being an admit to this universities is a testament to their superior ability. Yet, they don't go around flaunting their ivy-league-degrees. Instead, they inspire by showing the successes that they have achieved and was never hesitant in providing me a few guidance or two. November and December, marked the height of my preparation towards the ivies.

Come January, strange as it seems, can you actually believe that a movie can change your mind? Early January, I watched a movie entitled "Australia", played by Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. Yes yes, how does a movie become a life-changing event though? I was amazed by the beauty of the continent, the beaches, the mountains, the flora and fauna, the rocks, the etc. Still it ain't convincing me that I should change my love from US to Aus, isn't it? But indeed it had its own impact. Hmm, I thought, Australian National University...quite ok as a university huh? Not more than 1 week later, I submitted my application. It was strange, more like a "looks" crush, I cannot explain why I applied to ANU at that time.

The next few months, were pretty eventful. I had my best semester at INTI, not only in terms of academically, but of course in terms of other more "subtle" things. I will always remember how Me, Wen Jiet and Lik Xiang try desperately to beat those Brutal AI who were always abundant with hanky-panky. In class, jokes were aplenty, always with Wen Jiet and the rest whom our lecturers dubbed us "the Smart Group". Not really smart, but always love to take out The Sun or Wall Street Journal during while preparing some cash flow statements etc. Everytime break, I don't know what affection I have with Uncle Chong's lohmaikai. Cal III lab, Jia Cheng and Lik Xiang are more serious in cracking jokes than working their Matlabs. etc. Business Comm, meet the "most attentive student in the world"(me) and the "sleepiest student in the world" (CWJ).

March 31, April 1. D-Day. Ivy leagues open their doors towards new admits. There's something that you desperately wanna avoid in college admissions, not rejections, but Waitlists. It sucks being in waitlists, and it was what I got. Hanging in the balance? I bet it is! What am I going to do? The chain effects would have been devastating. However, it is at this time, it is ANU who lent its helping hand. Hmm, sometimes really, you cannot simply tell how things can be so unexpected. Your first love, rejecting you, your 2nd choice, saving you out from the pits.

Yes, that moment changed everything. US to AUS, a 360 degrees turn. What I wanted to achieve when I am in the states, all had to be readjusted to what I am going to do in Aussies. Scholarship application also took a big U-turn. Everything changed. I graduated from INTI earlier than usual, and parted with my friends and buddies whom I thought I was going to be with them at the states. Well, I guess, fate just works out that way. The first 6 friends that I have at INTI, I never thought I would see Zhiyi or KC again, as they left AUP early to other universities. But it seems, hey, it's a reunion with both of them in the Aussies, I even get to be in the same hall as KC of course. So, really, this time I am convinced about fate and friendship. My friends that I will part ways, I will see you all again, I am sure.

ANU, while no ivy or russell group, has its breath of its own. I believe since I am directed towards that path, I should make full use of the opportunity presented. Ivy or not, I think brand names are created by people and that I can create a brand name of my own. ANU now ranked 16th in the world, I really do hope that, I am the person, with the group of mates there, can propel it higher. Probably next 10 years, we can see ANU be on par with Harvard, Princeton, Imperial, Oxbridge.

As in the homecoming post, it has been a long hiatus. The 8 months of experience cannot be simply shortened into one single post. I thank everyone, my family and my friends for making whatever's possible today for me. This post, will mark the start of a new era for myself and for the potential great things to come.

First Salvo Fired

The first shot towards Ivies had been fired this morning.

Hardly a shot heard round the world, but still, I hope somehow the cannonball will reach New Haven. I admit that this time, I am truly an underdog as compared to Olympiad Champions, 3 800s scorers, World Youth Athletics Gold Medalists...etc(whatever accolades you can think of). Completely aware of where I stand, I think those geniuses will eat me alive if we are pitted together in an Roman Colosseum. Imagine a weaponless man against a pack of ferocious lions.

But, I realized that it was not that case either. I went to collegeconfidential forum and saw some people with 2300s SAT got rejected outright(Not even deferred, really pity them) whereas some 2000s got admitted. The 2000s didn't participate in some African Humanitarian Programs, or athletic tournaments, or orchestras. Apparently, your socioeconomic background, your place of origin, your essays, your recommendations play a huge part too.

Well, that explains the lottery element inside. It's like buying Magnum 4D, whatever number you buy, the chances are still low. It's not to say that 2300s isn't going to have advantage over people with lower SAT scores, but high SATs, glamourous achievements, great class rank aren't guaranteeing anything.

Whether it's Accepted, Deferred or Rejected on Dec 15th, the process had been fulfilling. The experience of working with the application has certainly helped me to improve myself in many areas. I will have no regrets.

Greed

There is one strange phenomenon that I noticed about myself.

Playing futsal/football is my hobby. In the game, nothing beats the excitement of scoring a goal. It is this excitement that invokes the "greed" inside myself. Maybe it is natural human psychology; when you don't score, you rue the missed chances;when you score 1 goal, you may be happy for a while, but when you reached home, you wondered why couldn't you score 2 goals; when you score 3 goals, you wonder why you couldn't complete the hat-trick; when you score 6-7 goals and your friends score 10-11, you are sad about your missed goal at XX minute.
That is what I call greed and pessimism. Frankly speaking, 0 goal, 1 goal or 2 goal or even 10 goals don't matter anyway. There isn't much difference between scoring 2 goals or 3 goals. No matter what, I am only an amateur! With my own personal experience, I can say that whenever you start having those thoughts, that is when your goal-drought starts. You find your shots wide everytime, you cannot connect with the ball well, you cannot finish an easy goal, you find your stamina used up very quickly.

Playing good football requires skill, teamwork, fitness and mentality. When we focus on ONE aspect that we think it's very important(goals), we tend to forget that THE aspect is not everything. No doubt goals are important for a striker, but defending duties, participating in attacks like holding the ball or make deadly passes are also important for a player.

So, instead of thinking about goals, goals and goals, sometimes it is better to think about the other things that matter. Instead of standing up front to wait for delivery of passes, through passes and crosses, it is better to join in the game. Somehow I realized, the likelihood of a goal opportunity is higher that way, especially for a skill-less goalpoacher like me.
It has been 1 month since I last played futsal and it seems that I will not play until the end of November. I hope I will correct my mentality and improve my game.

SAT Subject Test Scores Released

After 17 hours of grueling wait, my SAT subject test scores were released right on 5.00pm GMT +8.

My performance= BMW Sauber F1.08. Period

Racing in an Ivy League Race

Applying to Ivy League is just like a race.
Seldom are you situated in the front row, thus it means fighting in the middle pack of cars. Your car is no Ferrari or Mclaren, it leaves you wondering your purpose of joining the race. Yet, you still have to complete the 56 lap race.

While you are driving around the straights, cutting through the corners, jumping through the kerbs, immense pressure is mounted on you. Your car is still slower, but you never release the throttle for a single second. What keeps you moving around the track, is nothing but optimism. You hope your car works all in a sudden, you hope the front-runners having a slowdown, you hope your pitstops put you several places in front.
Maybe this race is not for you to score any points, but there is always the next race, the next race and the next race.......Ultimately, you hope that you will reach the podium, then score a victory. In the end, landing a drive in a Ferrari or a Mclaren.

It's all about staying until the end after all.

The Right Choice

It is the dream of every football player to play in Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Real Madrid, AC Milan...It is the dream of every student to enter top higher learning institutions like the HYPD, Oxford, Cambridge, MIT.

Recently the 2009 Times Higher Education rankings for universities were published. link There were rise and falls, but nevertheless it is hard to write-off United States' continued dominance in tertiary education. Out of the top 10 universities, there are 6 American universities. Out of the top 100, 39 are American universities.

Critics of the rankings may point out that the ranking is not accurate, that universities only train out professors, academicians, scholars that have little anything to do with success in society. I have heard ideas such as "College degrees have little forbearance on how well you do in your career". People who said that would list down names found on Forbes, who are millionaires that never received education from any of the top institution. Some might even go overboard to suggest that Bill Gates is a dropout from Harvard, therefore college degree is not that important.

I do agree in some points that college degrees are not a guarantee in career success. But in this ever competitive world, even marginal advantages can sometimes make a difference between success and failure. Graduates from great universities are not necessarily very successful, but it is not to say that the degrees are worthless or degrees from any universities carries the same weight.

Most of the Nobel Prize Laureates, Pulitzer Prize winners, Head of States have graduated from prestigious universities. The recent example being Roger Yonchien Tsien, the 2008 Nobel Chemistry Prize winner, who graduated from Harvard and completed his masters in Cambridge. I believe his college education must have a significant impact to him that contributed to his success.

There may be groups out there still thinking that scientists are people who stayed in labs all the time and lacked the social contribution. But, not only prestigious universities culminate scientists, they are important in training leaders of the world as well. Past US Presidents had come from either HYPSM, and it is interesting to note that George W Bush, who was demonized by the media, reviled in some countries, painted as having a lowest IQ score among presidents etc...actually graduated from Yale.

Rankings do tell us something, though it might not be 100% accurate. The universities that were placed on top aren't there for nothing. I am glad that I have made the right choice to go to US. Whether I get into HYPDSM or not, I will still be guaranteed an excellent education there at other colleges.

Lastly, I couldn't imagine how would it turn out to be, had C. Ronaldo stayed at Sporting Lisbon, Wayne Rooney stayed at Everton, Joe Cole, Frank Lampard, Rio Ferdinand stayed at West Ham and Fernando Torres stayed at Athletico Madrid. It would be different and I can say they might not have the chance to even taste the joy of winning silverwares.

Tranquility

It has been so silent in the hours leading up to the important mission. Hari Raya is supposed to make the streets of Bangsar livelier than ever, but what I found was mere tranquility. Aside from the occasional annoying chirps by the crows and live messenger sign-in tones, this place is sorely missing it's activity.

This will be my last attempt for myself to prove a difference, the attempt that I have some control over it. The rest it will be all up to God, as we can never judge what essay excites people the most, the what kind of numbers impress people the most. It's like playing Russian Roulette for me, the chance of getting a jackpot is so unpredictable.

It is not that I never been to the place, nor take the exam. But clearly it is expectations that made a difference. Imagine if I suffer a disappointment on late June, how relaxing am I going to be? It wasn't the case however.

I had always objected about convincing myself using a false hope and I am determined to prove tomorrow that my belief is correct: I have not been carrying a false hope all along. I am not there to make up the numbers nor I am there to be a minnow.

Math, Physics, US History; the three big obstacles that must be cleared in style tomorrow. From 4 months before until now, it's game on!

Moving Forward

Athletes are inspiring. It is the main reason why I am more interested in watching sporting events rather than dramas or movies. Each of their struggles to reach to top deserves an entire book written about them.

At the same time, athletes show you human's weaknesses. We have seen athletes rising to the pinnacle and falling from grace because of their own doings. Greed, lack of motivation, ill-discipline are some of the factors that had tarnished an athlete's hard-earned reputation.

My sporting idol used to be Ronaldo(the Brazillian one). No one can question his dominance during the late 90's and early 21st century. Sadly, he became one of the world's laughing stocks in sports. His mingled with transvestites, he was unwanted by any top clubs, his belly looks more like a pregnant women and of course, who would have forgotten his partying days in Madrid and subsequent acrimonious exit from the Bernabeu?

He may have abundant money, but he sold his reputation. People will remember less about him winning 3 times World Player of the Year, 2 times World Cup, and instead they will remember that this fat guy ended his career a few kgs overweight and unwanted by any club.

Maybe Manchester City wants to sign him, but who is Manchester City? He failed in big proportions if compared with Zidane, who retired in Bernabeu in a glorious manner, who still continues to do charity for UNICEF until today.

Not all athletes are like Ronaldo. My personal favourite this year would definitely be Liu Xiang. Back in 2004, I didn't realize the meaning behind Liu Xiang's gold medal. I always thought with the great advancements in sports science, anyone can be an Olympic Champion. I was wrong, as evident in China's failure to score any gold medals in the track and field event.

Liu had a bigger impression on me because of the common heritage we share. We are Chinese, we are from humble beginnings, we are situated in a merciless rat race, we carry the burden of our hopes and dreams. The difference was, he achieved results while I am yet to do so.

This week, it will be another "make it or break it" moment. Like everything else in the rat race, there is no second chance. I remembered it very well during my SAT Reasoning Test, the dilemma between looking back and moving forward. At first, there has been some shakiness and I found myself trying hard to adjust to the rhythm of the test because I was torn between reading the passage clearer and answering the questions directly. I was torn between answering a question or leaving it blank. The clock was ticking and the pressure was intense. Finally my conscience got the better of me and I chose to move on. Luckily my decision was correct. I did not look back. Else, it would be a different story for now.

With so little time remaining, there is no time to doubt ourselves. Because there is only one way ,to move forward like what Liu did during his 2004 Athens 110m hurdles event.

Talk about Real Math Challenge

Math problems are always mind-bogging, but they are not unbeatable, at least that was what I thought. I will be sitting for the SAT Math Level II next week. All was going well, until I started doing this book called "15 Realistic Tests for SAT Math Level 2" by this guy called Rusen Meylani, M.S.
When you see the word "REALISTIC", you will definitely expect something that is similar to the real test. I started doing this book with full expectations of scoring a 750-800 on the practice tests, but soon it became a "nightmare".

It started well for a few question on the first test, but as the question number increased, I found myself stranded in a position like this:Every single ounce of expectation and optimism soon evaporated. Progress was extremely slow and the questions really put me into shame. I was "slaugthered, butchered and annihilated" by the sheer amount of ridiculously difficult questions. Each time I did ONE question correct, the euphoria was like breaking a goal-scoring drought. I thought Cal II was hard, but this was worse than my Cal II final, way way worse...

Fortunately, the book was not even written in a "realistic" manner in the first place. The Preface wrote, "THE TESTS IN THIS BOOK ARE HARDER THAN ACTUAL TESTS, THEY ARE NOT REALISTIC IN TERMS OF THE LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY OF THE QUESTIONS" It was meant to let some people who wish to get full score 800 in their exam achieve their target. It is accurate to say that if one can finish and achieve a good score in this book, he can most probably score 800 on the exam.

Phew, at least I can breathe a sigh of relief...In my personal opinion, the book really did make me sharper in math and reinforced my mathematical concepts. My speed improved tremendously as well. Now when I look back, the psychological torture was well worth after all.

Ethics

Is Ethics relevant nowadays? In American History, I learned about Social Darwinism which emphasized on "Surival of the Fittest" in the context of our society. I learned about "robber barons", who used corrupt business practices to eliminate competition and reap in maximum profit.

Meet Akash Maharaj (link here), who gained admission into Yale by using a series of well-planned "strategies". The intricacy of his plan was so well-woven that you cannot even find a loophole in it. Indeed, he went undiscovered for 2 years, until he was betrayed by his friend. This really brings the question of ethics into place.

He was a great student at Yale. His flair in writing, his attitude, his academics did nothing to suggest that he forged his transcripts and recommendation. When interviewed, his professor even commended him and held him in high regard.

Of course, breaking the rules is wrong. But now the question is how many of those applicants are actually doing this? Is bending the rules in anyway wrong? Admissions process is like a war and it is impossible to judge a student by just using their SATs and high school grades, especially in the case of Yale University. Their admission rate vary from 9%-10%.

If we follow Sun Tzu's Art of War, "All Warfare is based on Deception", then that guy is right. Robber Barons used corrupt business practices to obtain the market power and reap the highest profit, but they also provided jobs for millions of people. If they were busted, we will not have cars today, we will not have railroads today, we will not have telephone nor light bulbs today. Universities like University of Chicago, Carnegie Mellon University, Vanderbilt University will be crossed out in my list of dream universities.

But what about those hopefuls, who were equally good and equally willing to work hard? Admitting such cheaters means depriving others of the chance to realize their dreams. For the case of Robber Barons, workers work to their death, but received only a miniscule amount of what they worked for. Everything went to their owner's pocket.

As for Maharaj, although he proved he is truly a Yale material, he will never graduate as an Ivy League graduate. He will received a harsh punishment which renders his previous efforts worthless. But at the same time, it was said that he was close to ink a writer's deal with a publication company. Who knows, he might earn more being a writer after all these debacles than him being an Ivy League graduate. Perhaps this was one of his plans.

His story really makes us doubt the significance of ethics nowadays. What's right and what's wrong will always be debatable. I think that is the time when we should turn to our Divine Providence to seek for an answer.

Approaching

My beloved creation has almost been completed. The shape has been defined, the style has been laid down, the direction has been set. What's left is the tail and a little bit of finishing touch.

What was then a daunting chore now becomes a ecstatic affair. With each step nearer to completion, I gained more momentum. Unexpected, truly unexpected.

But completing is not everything. The creation still needs to undergo strict testing to ensure that it runs straight in the correct direction.

Before dreaming about that, I think I should just focus on the tail.

Fatman and Little Boy

Proceeding into the 3rd model.

The previous 2 models that I had exposed the deficiencies that will jeopardize my chances. The whole blueprint was obsolete as many aspects sounded trite, torpid and arid. With the 3rd model coming up, I am planning a radical design that incorporates innovations that many have not seen in the past. Of course there are risks that curtail this design, but I believe the changes will bring to the betterment of myself.

So what will this "revolutionary" design include? It will feature some foreign methods as observed through some resource websites. I was amazed how foreigners came out with the ideas that I have never thought of before. I am now determined to emulate their designs and see what I can do to improve on it. This plan, I hope, will produce the ultimate "beast" that I have longed for.

I never thought that doing this will be so fun.

Trial-and-error

2nd prototype discarded. Time to go back to the drawing board again.

Can't say the whole process is an easy one, but it is nevertheless enjoyable. It was a process of discovery and with every second ticking away, I achieved progress. This reminded me about the process of producing one solar car. I remembered that it was a great experience. To produce that unstoppable "beast", numerous trial and error attempts was carried out. I produced 4 models. Keejin produced 5. To get to the final product we made 9 models total, modifying here and there, redesigning the car and even discarding the entire model. Only after 3 months of extensive work that we successfully turning out that tiny "beast" that runs 2.0 m/s by using just sunlight.

Well, I expect it to be the same this time. Ideas that seemed genius at a time becomes arid after you woke up. The ideal situation can turn into the most ridiculous predicament.

Still needs to prevail. Not stopping here just yet.

Sephyrave Says...

Sephyrave is starting his season soon.
Sephyrave will have to start it with the "test you can count on".
Sephyrave will have to take the Achievement Tests.
Sephyrave didn't watch Chicago Bulls for long,
but now he will have to explore opportunities to get there early.
Sephyrave will have to write his own story
Sephyrave will have to answer a few questions set by those 常青藤，Pte，Ltd people.
Sephyrave will have to speak well.
Sephyrave will have to do good accounting to make sure he doesn't go broke.
Sephyrave anticipates this great season.

The Letter

There are and were many successful athletes. In football alone you have a handful like Zinedine Zidane, Ronaldo, Maradona, Klinsmann, Pele and Bobby Charlton. In golf you have Tiger Woods. In tennis you have Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras. In basketball you have legends like Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. In f1 you have Michael Schumacher. Look at their CV, you might say that Michael Phelps's 8 gold medals isn't worth that much of hoo-hah.

However, football is a team game; Zidane and Ronaldo, without their supporting teams, wouldn't have won the World Cup, let alone winning the Player of the Year. Basketball in this case is the same with football. Micheal Schumacher's 7 World Champion titles looked impressive, but one must not ignore the fact that there was virtually no competition from 2002 to 2004 until Fernando Alonso's rise. Kimi Raikkonen, even though lost by only 2 points to him in 2003, never looked like a threat to him due to Mclaren's appaling reliability.

So this should make Phelp's gold medal sound impressive. There are no excuses for any performances in swimming because you cannot blame your car, you cannot blame your defence, you cannot blame the referee, you cannot blame the wind; you can blame nothing. In swimming all you depend on is your own body.

Here is a newsletter that I read in Chen Chow's blog.

________________________________
Hi! And how are you all? Like most of you, I spent the last three
weeks 'parked' in front of my television, watching in awe at the
sporting spectacle that took place at the Beijing Olympics. As I was
watching these world class athletes perform, I could not help but come
to the conclusion that what we saw was just the tip of the iceberg
i.e. we saw the performance but not the grueling training regime that
each and every one of them must have undergone to ensure that they
were in peak condition during the Olympics. All of these dedicated
athletes had to make a lot of sacrifices in terms of time, their
social life, effort etc in their single-mindedness to take part in
this glorious once in four year sporting event.

Among this elite crowd, the one individual who stood head over
shoulders above the rest was Michael Phelps. At 23, Michael Phelps
has become an international sporting sensation by winning eight gold
medals and smashing seven world records in the process. He is also the
first athlete ever to secure first place so many times at a single
Olympics.

The path to success for Michael Phelps was however not a smooth one.

• At the age of seven Michael was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder. This is a childhood condition characterized by
constant activity, impulsive behavior and the inability to focus one's
attention on anything for a short span of time. To help release his
pent-up energy, Phelps took up swimming.

• At the age of nine, Michael's parents divorced. His mother brought
up all three children (two sisters) single-handedly, encouraging them
to follow their dreams at all costs.

• In 2004, Phelps, then 19, was arrested for driving under the
influence of alcohol. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 18 months
probation, saying in court, "I recognize the seriousness of this
mistake and will continue learning from this mistake for the rest of
my life."

The reason I am telling you all this instead of glorifying his
achievements, is to state that success was not handed on a silver
platter to Michael. He like the rest of us has had his share of
setbacks in life. In spite of all these however, he went on to become
the supreme champion that he is currently. I believe there is much
that we can learn from the success of Michael Phelps. Some of them
are:

Setbacks are part of life and winners get on with it. In spite of the
many setbacks early in his life, Michael bounced back every time and
used these setbacks as building blocks to achieving more success. He
never ever allowed these setbacks to become obstacles or excuses in
his quest for swimming success. Like him, we must realize that
setbacks are part of nature's way of making us all stronger. Using an
analogy, we are all like a flame in the wind; some people use the wind
to make their flame get bigger, whilst others blame the wind for
blowing out their flame. Winners like Michael, always choose the
former!

Dream big! Don't let anyone tell you your goal is impossible. Imagine
if Michael had told people a few years ago that he wanted to win eight
gold medals at the Olympics. What do you think would have been their
reaction! Yes, I am sure skepticism! If he had listened to these
cynics, we would have been deprived of seeing his world class
performances. He not only had big goals; he was totally focused and
committed to it. In management we must all learn to shoot for the
stars and maybe we will at least hit the moon! Never ever listen to
the cynics. It is always in their interest not to see other people
successful.

Use failures and cynics to motivate you. At the Athens Olympics in
2004, Phelps was beaten by teammate Ian Crocker in the 100m butterfly.
Instead of allowing this event to demoralize him, he used it as a
source of inspiration to become even better. He put up a poster of
Crocker winning the event in his bedroom to constantly motivate him to
train even harder in the event. Another thing that motivated Michael
was Ian Thorpe's (the great Australian swimmer who won five gold
medals at the Athens Olympics) statement that he thought winning eight
gold medals was 'unattainable'. Michael stuck a note with Thorpe's
statement on his locker to be used as a constant source of motivation.
We all need to be motivated. What better way than to prove the cynics
wrong or else to use our past failures to drive us to future success!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I do hope that I have in
a way motivated you to go out there to achieve your life's goals. Take
decisive action now!!! And have a great month ahead!

---
If you like this and think your friends will like it too, please feel
free to forward this and they can subscribe by emailing to
news-subscribe@heera.com.my.

1. To read management articles by Heera
2. To see photos of training carried out by Heera
This newsletter goes to approximately 9,000 subscribers in over 15
countries in the world.
To unsubscribe: Send us an empty email at: news-unsubscribe@heera.com.my

Heera Singh
Principal Consultant
HEERA Training and Management Consultancy
HP 0126083708
www.heera.com.my

"US History" take III

The authors of The American Nation concluded that we can look into the past, but we cannot possibly predict the future. That ended my two-part US History course. In my opinion, it was an exhilarating process in studying US History. Their history is shorter than other great civilization, but its gloss does not pale in comparison with the likes of European or Asian countries.

The HIS251 and HIS252 that I took projected the United States as a resolute nation even from the beginning. Behind the victories of the American Revolution, it showed the virtues of the Americans that enabled them to prosper until today. Their Founding Fathers were even much more impressive. Never afraid to experiment with things and make a change, they paved the way for the current stable political system of the US. They were brave enough to discard the entire Articles of Confederation when it was found that it did not serve the nation good.

More of the glorious chapters in the US history are yet to come. You may not agree with US's invasion of Iraq and many of their policies. But you have to accept that they have achieved success in many things that other nations are still trying to achieve. I was involved in an mock trial entitled "US:A Big Brother or A Big Bully?". I once tried to figure out when did US acted as a big bully. Some may point out Korean War, Vietnam War, Persian Gulf War and the War on Terror are the vices that are enough to sentence US to jail. However, one shouldn't forget that US liberated the world from World War II.

People will also point out America's original sin: Slavery. But few people knew that not everyone supported slavery in the past. There are also economic reasons that, if put in modern day standards, made slavery something not an immoral thing to do. I do admit that the slavery had its brutal and bloody part though. However this should deter someone from studying US History.

Now, it's going to be take III for me in US History. The US History Subject Test is not to be taken lightly. In SPM, I rarely prepared for the objective because the questions they were set almost the same. Plus during that time, there was not so much facts to remember. Thirdly, there are a lot of cheap practice exercises that are 60% similar to exam questions. I really do wonder how US students manage their studies without the variety of reference books like in Malaysia. Malaysia has numerous publishers and 1001-question-books are not uncommon. For US, even though they have a number of reference book publishers, the practice exercises are a lot fewer than ours. Perhaps this is another sign of early American colonial era self-reliance?

There are two kinds of success, or rather two kinds of ability displayed
in the achievement of success. There is, first, the success either in
big things or small things which comes to the man who has in him the
natural power to do what no one else can do, and what no amount of
training, no perseverance or will power, will enable any ordinary man to
do. This success, of course, like every other kind of success, may be
on a very big scale or on a small scale. The quality which the man
possesses may be that which enables him to run a hundred yards in nine
and three-fifths seconds, or to play ten separate games of chess at the
same time blindfolded, or to add five columns of figures at once without
effort, or to write the "Ode to a Grecian Urn," or to deliver the
Gettysburg speech, or to show the ability of Frederick at Leuthen or
Nelson at Trafalgar. No amount of training of body or mind would enable
any good ordinary man to perform any one of these feats. Of course the
proper performance of each implies much previous study or training,
but in no one of them is success to be attained save by the altogether
exceptional man who has in him the something additional which the
ordinary man does not have.

This is the most striking kind of success, and it can be attained only
by the man who has in him the quality which separates him in kind no
less than in degree from his fellows. But much the commoner type of
success in every walk of life and in every species of effort is that
which comes to the man who differs from his fellows not by the kind of
quality which he possesses but by the degree of development which he has
given that quality. This kind of success is open to a large number of
persons, if only they seriously determine to achieve it. It is the kind
of success which is open to the average man of sound body and fair mind,
who has no remarkable mental or physical attributes, but who gets just
as much as possible in the way of work out of the aptitudes that he does
possess. It is the only kind of success that is open to most of us. Yet
some of the greatest successes in history have been those of this second
class--when I call it second class I am not running it down in the
least, I am merely pointing out that it differs in kind from the first
class. To the average man it is probably more useful to study this
second type of success than to study the first. From the study of the
first he can learn inspiration, he can get uplift and lofty enthusiasm.
From the study of the second he can, if he chooses, find out how to win
a similar success himself.

Back in Action

I spent the week before in my hometown, Taiping. It took me almost 5 hours to reach. Along the journey, sights of greens, glitters of reflected ray on the flowing streams, dilapidated village houses, imposed on the lilac clouds during sunset set the perfect mood for homecoming. Home is some place where you could find warmth, but it was desperately lacking this time. Buildings stood unchanged, roads still remained the same, but the feeling was not the same anymore.

Very few of my old friends were in Taiping, even if they were, they would be too busy to come out for a drink; not that Taiping has anything to do either. Homework from matriculation robbed their souls. I had a chance to play a few rounds of bowling, I had a chance to play DotA with my old friends together as a team, I had a chance to play football with a minuscule amount of friends, none of these activities seemed to have any soul in it. Everything was dispirited. Even though Taiping still has a lot of people living there, it felt like Prypiat, Ukraine. However, Call of Duty 4 was the nice thing about my stay in Taiping. I was truly impressed by the creativity in presentation by the group of developers behind this game. In fact, I am impressed by most of the games nowadays. Times have changed, people seek innovation and improvement in everything and computer games were included in this progression. Even video games have to raise their bar to sell. Last decade, video games used to have choppy graphics, irritating sound effects. Now, the experience of watching a story is comparable to Hollywood blockbusters. What does this tell us about ourselves, I wonder.

A few days stay at home certainly helped me to recuperate from accumulated fatigue and injuries. Now that I am back to Kuala Lumpur, I have to regroup and adapt to a whole new season. One interesting thing about COD4 is that, soldiers are really relentless when they are pursuing a target. As Private "Soap" Mactavish, just to capture Al-Asad(a fictional terrorist), I have to travel all around the globe. Once you receive an intel, you have to rush to that place to carry out your operation. Although it may turned out to be fake, but the pursuit continues, even though it means going from one continent to the other. I guess in real life it's the same too. For soldiers to capture their target, it requires tremendous perseverance.

Great Expectations

When Liu Xiang grimaced and walked out of the Olympics 110m hurdles event, it sent the whole Chinese population a great shock. He was the hope of the Chinese in the athletics, where people tend to hold the perception that Westerners thrive the best in this event. When he is out, people cried, people cursed, people stood motionless...but unbeknownst to them, Liu is just another athlete. He is a human too.

All those talks about Liu Xiang being the only athlete capable of competing with Westerners is of course short-sighted. Well yes, traditionally, Africans perform better in athletics, Asians lose out usually. But that isn't a universal law. Modern Football, for example, was created by the English. The Brazillians "perfected" it. Europeans still having the edge in competitions. What about Africans? To say that they are inferior in footballing if compared to Latin Americans or Europeans might be unfair, because modern football is just around for a hundred years or so. However, no one can predict the future. Africans, may one day win the World Cup. For athletics, Africans may seem dominating in this century, but no one can predict that they can continue to dominate this field, as the world is becoming more and more unboundered by borders. The point is: It's less about race, but it is the conditions that make things happen to be that way.

I seriously do not think Malaysians have better badminton genes as compared with Europeans. It is just the situation that make Malaysians able to compete at the highest level in badminton. Throw one German or Italian in Malaysia, and give him the training that Lee Chong Wei gets, I bet he can win a silver medal too.

For Liu, I think he seriously needs to rest a while to recuperate from the injury, and he needs to be left alone, away from the horrendous media. All those great expectations, they were created by people. He has won one gold in the Olympics, one gold in the World Championships. he set the World Record, Olympic Record before. If people wants to prove that Asians can outrun others, Liu has definitely done it. Even though it was not on home soil, it doesn't matter anyway. It's not something embarassing to not win anything when you are in home soil, because sports is sports, you can't fix the results. Things just don't happen as you wish them to. Germany didn't win the WC06. Malaysia always loses the Thomas Cup even though it is held in home soil(save 1992)

Since China has got over 39 medals already, they should take that as a positive. Not mourning over the 1 gold loss to other nations. To prove to the world that China is a great sporting nation, it doesn't need China to win the 110m hurdles. The tally speaks for themselves. Talk about unable to win in mainstream sports, well, when do people actually sit down to watch the Athletics World Championship on TV anyway? For the Chinese National Football Team, perhaps they might wanna pay more attention to it rather than the 110m hurdles.

Talk about Equality and Hospitality

Yes, it might be computer-generated-auto mail, but at least they make the effort to communicate with the potential applicants, even though you are from an unknown world. Behind the glamor, the reputation and the prestige, who would have thought that they will be so hospitable to everyone. Well, they have innumerable funds, they do not need to be good to customers to attract them. Customers go to them automatically.

There might be a translation error: raining gold in foreign land, raining rocks in local land, it's better to be local. I strongly disagree with this statement. To me, this is just an excuse of continuing the inefficiency, incompetence and incapability of your own. Even plants know how to direct their leaves to sunlight, direct their roots to water, direct their stem to the upward direction. Animals know how to migrate to look for new food source. Had they continue to live at where they live in, then death bell might be sounding around them pretty soon.

It's an irony that we bombard others that they are big bullies, yet they seemed far from that. People really do contradict themselves, those who claimed to be your "protectors" ended up stabbing you whereas those "bullies" ended up treating you better.

Will the Real One Please Stand Up?

This is just like F1.

As you approach the final few laps, you couldn't help but wonder where has the pace of your car gone? You were competitive early in the race, you held off some competition, you stayed on the competitive side right until the first pit stop; you were in THE right track.

Incomes you in the second pit stop and a wrong tyre choice cost you your pace. You watch as people from the back overtaking you, with your car losing the grip and pace needed to stay competitive. What would you do next?

Caught in the frustration of trailing behind a huge amount of traffic. Frustration is boiling in the veins of your head. You stepped on the accelerator to the limits, but the engine is not going anywhere faster. You attacked each corner with precision, but your car just drifted away from the racing line. What would you do now? It's all over?

Yes, perhaps it's a time to call it a day. But wait, you still have laps to finish. You cannot just stop beside the track or drive straight into the pits. That would cost you your career! Who knows, after a few laps you might be able to pull back a few places.

If there is a chance, you got to fight till the end to claim a place in the podium.

Simply Awe-Inspiring

The Beijing Olympics really did lived up to its expectation of being the Greatest Games ever, opening with an ceremony at an unprecedented scale. A blend of the 5000-year-old Chinese history, arts, culture and the 21st century audio and video technologies, it was a great visual feast to everyone watching the event.Yet behind the grandiose manpower and resources, it carried a great meaning to citizens of the world.

The ceremony focused on the theme of the 5000-year history of China, which detailed the 4 great inventions: paper, compass, fireworks and printing technology, the Confucian philosophy, the ancient Chinese empires, the great voyages of Zheng He. It exhibited the hospitality, enthusiasm, optimism and love for peace of the Chinese people, dedicated to citizens of the world. 有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎。(Friends have come from afar, and it's a great pleasure to us) echoed every corner of the Bird's Nest stadium. Forget about partisanship, the Chinese welcome everyone to spectate their games.

No sights of hostility, just sights of friendship and warmth. As the 56 tribes in China performed, they looked really positive about this event, unlike the protests you would see in the media. When the athletes walked into the stadium, there were all smiles. Even if their nations were warring with each other, there was no sense of hostility. 和（harmony) is the word.

I think the greatest moment of the whole ceremony, would be the last part of it where Li Ning lit up the Olympic torch on top of the stadium. I just cannot believe that he "flew" one round over the stadium, unraveling the scroll that projected the images of people carrying the torch along the way. That was the most unbelievable moment. The effect was simply breathtaking. Guess you do not need a Speilberg to make things happen. 求人不如求己啊。

For the first time I feel so proud of being a Chinese.

Me and Beijing Olympics

Completed the final exam for my Microeconomics subject. That means 1 out of 5 penalty kicks taken.

The test is not the focal point for my day though. It is the event that was to follow: The Beijing Olympics. I have been an avid follower since I was primary four, back then it was Sydney 2000. Then it was followed by Athens 2004, when I was form two.

There was difference, mainly because I watched the Olympics from different perspectives, a result of ages. Sydney 2000, I treated it as the first Olympic that I have watched. It was a process of tasting the first-hand experience of watching the Olympics. I watched simply because, "I had never seen an Olympic games before."

Athens 2004 was a different story. It was solely driven by the support by our Malaysian contingent. Patriotism was the drive for me to watch the Olympics. Malaysia had a few chances of scoring some medals, particularly badminton and cycling. In some other events like diving, Bryan Nickson gave Malaysians a glimmer of hope. Even if he did lost, he gave the impression that he will be someone in the near future.

Nevertheless, the Athens 2004 was a dismal campaign for Malaysia. No medals for two consecutive Olympics. Choong Tan Fook and Lee Wan Wah nearly won a medal in Sydney 2000. Josiah Ng was in good shape to earn a medal, before the final run that saw him dropped to 5th in Athens 2004. In conclusion, 2000 and 2004 were both disappointing Olympics for me.

This Beijing Olympics is a whole different affair. Age accounts for this difference. It was fun watching the Olympics this time simply because I learnt to see things in more angles; it is interesting to follow the progess and development of the Olympics; it is a good lesson taught in terms of politics, economy and social by simply treating this Olympics as a case study; it was relieving, at the same time touching, to see China finally awakening from its 100 years of dormancy.

One might argue what makes it a such a great deal when Seoul and Tokyo have hosted it in the past(20-30 years) ago? Well, China has been subject to great prediacaments for the past 100 years. Opium Wars, a long list of Unequal Treaties, the humiliating Sino-Japanese Wars, the corruption of the Qing dynasty, the Japanese Occupation of WWII, the Chinese Civil War, these indignities had dealt an abstuse and substantial damage on the country. It left a scar that will not be forgotten on the minds of the Chinese. Cities can be rebuild when devastated, but the scars suffered by China is not something that can be easily healed.

If not because of the tenacity, resilience and perseverance, we may look at China today, just like how we look at the Indus civilization, a once glorious empire now vanished into thin air. China defied the odds. They stood up again after stumbling numerous times. The Olympics, is just a few legacies that the great civilization left. The much more significant legacy, lies in the great virtues of the Chinese people:perserverance.

I am proud to inherit that legacy too and I am determined to work out something out of it.

Watching from the Sidelines

2/3 of Thermodynamics chapter completed. Final part of Thermodynamics shall be completed quite soon.

This is the exam period for this semester. My A levels friends is going to have their trials after I completed my finals. So basically it means no Futsal or hanging out(not that I do it often) these few weeks. Nothing to be fret about. Facing the exam is a huge responsibility that must be taken. The others doesn't matter.

It has been a great "footballing" year for me. I think I spent much more time with the ball than in Taiping. One reason is because of the ease of accessibility to the footballing facilities here. I always thought that it will be difficult to find a place to play football in KL, but it looks like I am wrong. It is much more convenient here. Futsal centers are all around, football fields aren't few either. Consequently, these helped in improving my basic skills as a player; far from being good, but at least better than the past.

Alas, I have to take time off futsal due to some injuries sustained during the last match, the upcoming exam will be my best time to recuperate. I injured my Flexor digitorum profundus muscle and the Vastus medialis muscles of both my legs in a challenge on Arwin. Now I feel so stupid. Clearly it was Arwin who was having the possession, so no complaints about the injuries. Just hope that the condition will ameliorate soon.

Meanwhile, the Beijing Olympics is coming soon. We shall see how many medals will our athletes grab. But to be frank, I think only two of them has the chance, namely shuttler Lee Chong Wei and the cyclist Josiah Ng. Ku-Chen doubles pair is a spent force. Choong-Lee is far off the mark. Don't even say about athletes in other events, their possibility is minimal, unless squash becomes a part of the Olympics.

The Ivy "Dream"

I have never found myself in such a desperate situation. The desire to achieve was perpetuated in the circuits in my brain.

Tough week ahead. Being the lawyer of the US History mock trial, I better not flop. Being in prime position to shoot down the first A, I better not flop. Pressure, is something very bad, but it is also the "narcotic" that keeps me moving. A life without it will be nothing more than a vacuum.

Hot weather it is currently. I must stay healthy to face the exam. What can I do to fan down the temperature of my body? How about using an ivy leaves?

But I have to face it, the chance of boiling ivy leaves as medicine to cure myself has a lot to do with how well is my performance. Ivy leaves are in such a great demand. Not everyone gets it. Without some luck, no one can dream of getting ivy leaves. Also, a strange phenomenon, ivies choose the person that they cure. It was rumored that ivies can see what a person is like, how good he is. Strange huh?

Hmm, what am I thinking? Ivies don't cure fevers.

A Gentle Reminder

It was no shocker but nevertheless it did what it was supposed to do: dragging me out from the buoyant or perhaps over-confident mood of a guaranteed success. The damage done was minimal, this subject's coursework is the highest out of the subjects I have taken and there is no reason to start panicking. However, although it is minuscule, it left quite a great impact.

Full score in today's quiz again, but that is what I am afraid of. Continuous high score might blind a person of his own deficiencies, exaggerating a person's true ability. It makes people complacent and you most probably will see the person falling in the next hurdle.

The real challenge is in the finals. I misfired in a small simulation that resembles the finals. Even if I escaped unscathed, it sends one obvious message: stay alert! This is a strategic junction, I truly cannot afford to let something already in the grasp of my hand slip away. But to stay positive is still important.

There are five dangerous faults which may affect a
general:
(1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction;
(2) Cowardice, which leads to capture;
(3) a Hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults;
(4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame;
(5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and
trouble.

When an army is overthrown and its leader slain, the cause will surely be
found among these five dangerous faults. Let them be a subject of
meditation.
(Sun Tzu's Art of War)

I cannot be too complacent, yet I cannot fear too much. Else I would fall into point #2, or perhaps point #5. Even President F.D Roosevelt once said, " The only thing that we need to fear is fear itself," Seeking the perfect balance is what that should be done.

Oh my, I wondered how relaxed I will be had I not have that dream. That Uncle Ben's quote, "With great power comes great responsibility",I think, I should modify it and make my own quote too, "With great dreams comes great responsibility."

Chelsea Vs Malaysia

Yesterday I had the lifetime opportunity to watch my favourite team, Chelsea, not in Stamford Bridge, instead in our very own Shah Alam Stadium. I couldn't have been more luckier with the timing. It was held at a time, at a place where I can actually watch my favourite stars in action. Organized by ProEvents, this event actually got off a slow start. I bought the tickets as soon as they announced the ticket sales location. However, it seemed that people aren't that enthusiastic about Chelsea.

The reality proved otherwise. There was overwhelming reception to this event. I left my home at 6pm, but only managed to reach the place at 7.45 pm. You can imagine the jam along Federal Highway.

For the first time I saw the mesmerizingly-lit Shah Alam Stadium. The design is a pure beauty, much better than our Bukit Jalil Stadium Design and in my opinion rivals those of European clubs. This 1996-built stadium has an astonishing capacity of 80,000, much bigger than the Stamford Bridge Stadium. But, it seems that it was poorly maintained, thus lacking the lustre that most European stadium has.

After I found a parking, the whole place was like a fiesta. Stalls being set up everywhere, you have horns being blown from time to time. As the clock ticks, hordes and hordes of people wearing the Blue jersey are walking towards the entrance.

Getting past the gates was still bearable, except for the fact that Malaysians have little regard for public cleanliness. The roar that everyone can hear after they step past the gate was the most memorable moment that I have ever had. The atmosphere was one word: superb.

At first the stadium was still not filled up as many people were caught in the jam outside the stadium. Me and my friends, we could see both sides warming up of the pitch. Chelsea players, you got to admire their sleek touch, their shot accuracy, their ball control by simply watching them. Wherever the player goes during the warm-up, there will be a huge cheer for them. Of course, some of them responded by waving back such as Terry, Lampard, and Joe Cole. But you do have some arrogant players like Nicholas Anelka who seemed to be unbothered about the crowd.


The list was announced. Starting line-up: Cech Terry Carvalho Bridge Deco Mikel Essien Lampard Joe cole SWP Anelka . Huge roar from the crowd started the match. Malaysia looked fine, Chelsea ok. However, it was Malaysia who fired the first salvo surprisingly. That no 26 guy broke free of Chelsea defense to face Cech. Sadly it wasn't accurate enough and it seared wide of the left post. Nevertheless, it showed that our national team isn't there to make up the numbers, something nice to see.


But from the moment onwards, Chelsea virtually controlled the game. Joe Cole and Bridge had gave big problems to the Malaysian defense. Deco and Lampard held the midfield well. Deco had one stunning volley saved by the Malaysian keeper. The effort was jaw-breakingly awesome. But kudos to our Malaysian keeper as well, who did decently throughout the whole match.
Anelka scored the first goal followed by Ashley Cole. Typical goals, not some world-class goals I would say. The real interesting thing is Malaysian's do have some patriotism, as do I. I ended up supporting Malaysia when they seemed to have some attacking space approching the end of the game. With all the major players subbed out and someone like Shevchenko subbed in, Malaysia stepped up in attack. As they poured forward, you can see the excitement that is shown among those Malaysian's in blue. After all, that is our national team.

The chasm between European big clubs and Malaysia is wide as always. For the majority of the game Malaysia showed the deficiencies in our football standards, to the extent of becoming the joke of the tabloids. Easily get pushed, tripped and dispossessed. However, I would say they were much better than the Asian Cup 2007 team.(which was a disgrace)


The match ended 2-0. It was truly an unforgettable experience. The stunning atmosphere, the "wave" celebration, watching the star players myself really leaves a savory experience in my life. I really do hope that I can fly to Stamford Bridge and be a season pass holder in the future. Ha, ha.

Off Goes the Storm, Here Comes the Shine

Things are getting much better now.

Approaching the end of the semester, the workload has been significantly reduced as the result of completing most of the coursework. What remains are the finals. Phew, I can finally gasp for some fresh air for now.

The past few months really had not been merciful to me; it left me panting all the time. I felt like holding a worn-out rope clung to a speeding locomotive, unstable and perilous. I got some cuts and burns in the process, but fortunately it was not enough to kill off my spirits. Even at its lowest ebb, my spirit is nowhere close to extinction.

The path has been set, I have no way to return now. It isn't about two roads diverging, nor whether I chose the road less traveled by; it's about how good you are, how far you can go, how high you can climb. Mettle, courage, intelligence, resilience, patience shall be put to the test.

Ambition, is not something that I want to talk about; it is something I want to realize. 100 years of lifespan isn't for one to waste or making a fool of oneself. Resolve is life, not narcissism, not self-indulgence, not self-pity. Without bursting through the walls, one can only continue his or her own eternal spiral in darkness. That, is the worst tragedy that no one might conceive.

Mistakes were made, Choices were made as well.

The Odd-defying Beauty

What could be more beautiful than winning a football match after being 0-2 down with 10 minutes left?

Our common sense tells us the possibles and the impossibles, yet people has continued to defy the logic behind this. Nothing is impossible, this might be true after all.

Sometimes a spark can set a forest ablaze. It just needs the correct setup, correct situation, correct condition to achieve. Where the spark came from matters not, how big is the spark matters not, what color is the spark matters not; the most important is that you HAVE the spark.

A match cannot start a forest fire, a spark can, that's the difference. No matter what people say about how convenient a match is, it's no match to a spark in terms of it's ability. Potential is nothing if you don't produce something. Without the effort to brush the match against a flint, without the perfect condition to set the match afire, without the wind stopping, a match is virtually useless.

Needless to say, a spark pales in comparison with a flamethrower in starting forest fire. But, remember that, even if it is difficult to start a forest fire with a spark as compared to a flamethrower, we could still do that. A match of David Vs Goliath does not need David to always be on the losing side.

Standing among a bunch of flamethrowers, each with distinct origins, it's inconceivable that a spark might beat any of them. However, the possibility of a spark in starting an inferno should not be overlooked...nothing is impossible.

Quality VS Quantity

Sometimes you just need THE professionals.

I always thought about how do people judge essays. Is it the longer the better? Is it the more flowery language you have the better? Is it about your handwriting? Is it about abundance of raw facts?

Too often I have been educated in an environment which emphasized more on quantity rather than quantity. Quantity, though it's important, but it is not the perfect benchmark for our essay. After so many months of writing training, I began to develop the quality of my own writing.

Wordiness in "some" language is a good thing, but sadly in English it's not. I found it hard to adapt in terms of this. I just couldn't avoid wordiness when we have been taught to write more since primary school. Luckily, after some extemporization, I am able to correct this. The skill that I am going to develop now isn't about using the hardest word I can find in my thesaurus, but it is about how to describe something in an accurate manner, without slight deviations.

My Chinese language teacher once said about the story of Su Dongbo. She said Su Dongbo revised texts repeatedly and summarized them progressively, until they can be represented in one single Chinese character. I was awe-struck but at the same time skeptical about the truth behind this story. But Su Dongbo was a great Chinese poet, so there might be a possibility that he was able to achieve that level. Technically speaking, if he can do it, modern people can do it too.

My lecturer returned the script. Perfect I would say;concise, accurate and just. It was really a good representation of his quality. Now, I see the reason why They want us to do a 25 minute essay.

Renaissance

It has been a while, hasn't it?

The previous chapter in sephirave.blogspot.com ended an era. It took great efforts to initiate the transition from the past. 8 months, after a total of 8 months I finally got an epiphany that this IS the time to start afresh.

The time period was not void; it symbolized the dark ages in my personal blogging. There simply isn't any inspiration, or should I say, I was occupied with other matters such as fivescienceone.ning.com, environe.blogspot.com. Fivescienceone.ning.com project effectively met it's end, whereas Environe was put on hold indefinitely. Without a place to go, where could I possibly wander to?

Of course, every event must have an impetus to provide an exposition. I reminisced how my first blog started, it was actually due to the Slim River Incident. I do not wish to repeat what happened on that day. It might appear insignificant, but it was truly a turning point in my life. Coincidentally, this blog, had its own cause as well. An almost similar event, albeit not 100% , happened lately. It was the one of the inter-campus debate championship that I participated in.

To say that it is entirely similar to Slim River Incident is too inaccurate. The crucial difference between this and the Slim River Incident is that, I lost many things but gained nothing in the latter.

Debate is something that I have always interested in. It showcases the talent of presenting your knowledge, strengthening your stance and winning support over your crowd. It was my Malay teacher during secondary school that gave me opportunity to taste my first stint at a debater. From then, I proceeded to sharpen my skills, improving from year to year and got to the level which is far better than my original. There were ups and downs, successes and failures in my debating contests. Nevertheless, I enjoyed debating.

This inter-campus debate championship sparked the battling spirit that has been hibernating for long. Not only were the opponents well-versed in English, but they have the substance as well. And besides, the debate being conducted in English only raises the challenge for me, as I am no native speaker, nor I was born in an English-speaking environment. Debating in Malay and Chinese might be ok for me, but the question is now whether I can prove myself in debating in the English language.

It proceeded as planned, we won 3 out of 4 rounds. However, the "Slim River-like" situation happened again. We were denied a semi final entry. It was hard to take, but I had to accept it. Even if we do qualify for the semi finals, we would have lost to the team which beat us in the preliminaries.

Say about that team, it was really an eye-opener for me. That team was very strong, two indians and one african. I couldn't have imagined that they such amazing calibre. As a first speaker (a fresh new role for me), I think I fought to a stalemate between the prime minister and I. However, the thing that is very impressive about their team is that they have been able to answer most of my POIs, which really frustrated me to no end. I was left helpless in the end and had to leave it to my third speaker, who did a great job in standing alone against the three girls.

I think by far that 3rd match that we lost was the best debate that I have ever had in my life. The fourth round(which we won) were not as fiery, spicy as compared to the previous round. This "Slim-River-like" incident had the same bitter outcome, but clearly this turned out to be better. I gained significantly in terms of experience. Meeting people from countries like Slovenia, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Pakistan, Indonesia, Egypt consolidated my dream of pursuing a quality degree overseas. I liked the feeling and I will make sure I continue to get it.

There has not been a better time than this to start a new beginning again. My heart is filled with anticipation and optimism, as I march towards a better tomorrow.